This photo depicts my beautiful friends and my dorky innocent phase before my eyebrows were on fleek.
On to the next chapter, the truth is, I never had the same aspirations as others in high school. Honestly, I left earlier than everyone else did because I couldn’t wait to leave. I am not better than anyone for leaving earlier. My sister advised me to do it, so I did. It sounded like a good opportunity. I enrolled in a local community college my senior year and graduated with 28 college credits before attending college. I only made one friend outside of high school that year K, he was hilarious and made my experience far more enjoyable.
Although, I never valued what others did in high school; it was a remarkable experience; I had a group of incredibly beautiful, amazing, and supportive girlfriends. We called ourselves the “Foreign Crew,” we would sit on the steps outside rather than sit in the cafeteria with everyone else. Who did we think we were? We were “different,” to say the least. C is a Puerto Rican goddess she is a Colorado resident and married a prince that works in the armed forces. Regardless of time, she continues to find a way to be my guardian angel in life. What did I do to deserve the greatest support system in the world?
Who else was there? E, has the most mesmerizing blue-eyes you will ever see; she decided to go back to school for dental assisting. I is a low-key Ukrainian supermodel and has a handsome baby boy now. L is a Korean Barbie that lives in Los Angeles and currently works at a preschool or kindergarten and blogs about all things fabulous. D is someone I have not spoken to in years, but last I knew she had a cute baby boy. I hope she is doing well! E is a beautiful married Russian goddess who is one of the most beautiful natural beauties. K is a hot corporate female that works for MassMutual, loves horror films, and is a public cat-lady. She is one of my favorite people to spend time with because we have fun doing just about anything.
M is a hilarious, ambitious, and lovely accountant that recently moved to Boston. S, has been my rock since sixth grade, some may even say we look like twins? She works for Comcast Spotlight and we are always proud of each other’s accomplishments. SS is someone I can talk to about anything and she never judges me. She is currently incredibly happy with her life and I am happy for her.
The truth is, I do not miss high school anymore, and I am far beyond that point. If I run into anyone from that period in time, I am cordial more often than not. I have no reason to be angry, rude, or act as if I am better than anyone is. We each have our own aspirations. Everyone single person I affiliate with has hopes and ambitions of achieving something. I am proud to see other people become successful even if you are more successful than I am. Success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
I do not have time for drama, gossiping, or wishing the worst in life for other people. If you want to spend your life talking poorly about others, then what am I supposed to do? I cannot do anything about it. I cannot comprehend why someone would not want someone else to become successful. There is nothing wrong with that lifestyle; I would just rather not be in the room when you decide to talk poorly about someone for something that happened five years ago. If I have something bad to say about you, then I will usually say it to your face. I do not need to waste my time gossiping about someone behind his or her back. If you do not like someone or something in your life, then go out and do something about it.
Do you remember MySpace? What ever happened to my boy Tom?In high school, after it became a hit sensation, one of my classmate’s wrote the word “sand-n word,” on my page for no apparent reason. In case you were wondering, Justin Timberlake bought that platform and I am not sure what happened to Tom. Ironically, he ended up following me on Instagram, and then he commented on my photos. He told me how beautiful Dubai was and how he wanted to travel there.
If someone called me that term today, I would not even argue with you. Am I supposed to be offended? Should I feel resentful or annoyed? It does not bother me. I would tell you I am a “sand-word.” Have you ever been to a beach? Or rode in the sand dunes of a desert? I love beaches, deserts, and sand castles. What is wrong with a little sand? If that is how you think, then so be it. Am I supposed to change your mind? I am not sure why people do the things they do.
Unfortunately, I have witnessed Americans in grocery stores, gas stations, and other public spaces, give my parents dirty looks and/or look down on them. They may have accents; however that does mean they are stupid. My mother has aged ten times quicker than the average person has, has gained about eighty pounds, and does not care to maintain her appearance. The only person that matters to her is her son. She lost her soul in loving him. The spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal.
Do you know what happens when someone speaks down to a foreigner? Arrogance an attitude of superiority manifested in overbearing, or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. Do you know what happens next? I will never understand why you would start yelling at someone as if he or she is deaf. Why are you trying to embarrass them? It is a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness. I am sorry; they may be hard of hearing due to old age. Kindly do not speak to my parents. They can speak at least three languages with fluency. How many languages do you think that person knows?
Pakistan is the third largest English-speaking country in the entire world, next to the United States, and India. They are not deaf or “stupid.” There is a higher chance that the individual yelling at them is just impatient. Why do you have a tendency to be quickly irritated or provoked? Breathe, relax, and take a step back. I would not tolerate someone who speaks down to my parents or any other foreigner. The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.
It would be a dream if my Mom ever became someone as remarkable as John Nash. I wish she could win a Noble Peace Prize one day. She may never get better though and that’s okay too. Kindly say, “Inshallah.” That terms means, “If Allah wills it.” Allah is the term for God in Arabic. “Allaahumma innee asluka Sihhatan fee eemaan, wa eemaanan fe husni khuluq, wa najaahay, yatba, uhu falaah, wa rahmatam-minka wa aafiyah, wa maghfiratam-minka wa ri Dwaanaa.” She is greater than any educational system in the world. When she did not think the American educational system was enough, she gave my siblings, and I extra practice problems, book reports, and assignments. She was better than any private school, assuming private schools are better than public ones. She made us go to summer school and always made sure we understood the value of education.
When she taught me how to read the Quran, she did not have me memorize random verses in Arabic. She taught me what every word in Arabic meant, when she had me recite a Surah. I do not speak Arabic with fluency; I know a few phrases and understand some verses. I find that more valuable than what some Muslims do. The ones that read our Holy Book, and do not know or understand what those words mean. Memorization is the process of committing something to learn by heart that is not necessarily valuable to me.
I do not find worth in speaking a language I cannot comprehend. I may not have finished it yet, but I will one day. “Inshallah.” I will finish it before we travel for, “Umrah or Hajj,” the pilgrimage Muslims take to Mecca, Saudi Arabia. Kindly say “Mashallah or “Alhamdulillah.” In some Muslim eyes, I am not a Muslim based on my behavior, attitude, and lifestyle. I am not your daughter. My parents are aware of the girl they raised, but thank you for the concern.
One of the five pillars of Islam is “Zakat,” the act of charity and donating to those who have less than you. If anyone were to walk around with me for a day, then you would see that I usually give food to homeless people. I do not need anyone to acknowledge that I am some, “holier than thou,” person. I am not a saint. I do not know a single person who has never done something wrong. When I was taught my religion, my parents told me to always look at those who have less than you have in this world, and remember there will always be someone doing better than you. Therefore, you should be fortunate for everything you have in life.
It does not matter if you are a billionaire, a celebrity, or real estate mongrel there will always be competition. Even when you compete with someone else, you should never lose yourself, or your morals in that battle. Morality is the principle of concerning the distinction between right and wrong or good and bad behavior. I am just an ethical person. Almost anyone could choose to do what I am doing; one just choose not to do so. I would never tell anyone else how he or she should live their life. My desire for my blog to become something great should not bother a single human being.
In regards to social media, I have no problem with someone sharing selfies, family photos, or things he or she enjoys. What is wrong with being proud of who you are? This may sound cliché; however, everyone should learn to love one’s self. The world will tear you apart otherwise. If you are proud of yourself, and you want people to see how you live life, then you should do it. What is wrong with loving yourself?
There is a life-altering difference between being conceited and prideful. Pride is a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements. In contrast, conceit is the excessive pride in oneself. I truly am just trying to tell a story, however since it is about my life it may unintentionally come off as conceited. If you are sick of seeing someone’s social media, then why are they still in your newsfeed? The irony of life is that people assume human beings recently decided to be narcissistic creatures.
Narcissism is the extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration. It is not some hot new concept. It lives in a house adjacent to sovereignty, power, and money. I post often on my social media accounts, however I do not post everything I do. I only recently started posting more frequently to grasp people’s attention.
Many mistakenly think I post on social media to “impress,” others. I do not feel the need to have others admire or respect me. Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by his or her abilities, qualities, or achievements. It is a blessing to have many people love and respect you. I have not tried to “impress,” anyone since college, so that theory can be thrown right out the window. I do not tell others when they post on social media to “Stop trying to impress people with how fun your life is!” Therefore, I am not sure why you look at me and think that way. Even in the sea of sadness that surrounds me, I still have a pretty nice life. No one needs to look at me if I am such a bother.
When I look back on college, I realize how much I disliked that version of myself. It is the most remarkable feeling to reach a point where you like finally like yourself. It has taken about 24 years to do it. I wish everyone in the world could feel this way. I post things on social media because I enjoy my life, do fun things, and sometimes find myself attractive. Why would that bother anyone? What is wrong with thinking well of yourself? Insecurity is the uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. If you feel insecure about yourself, then I truly am sorry. I can teach you how to be confident too.
Confidence is a feeling built after years of experience. I do not need to hold onto anyone’s insecurities, you can absolutely figure it out for yourself. If you ever need any tips, then please let me know. I am always happy to help. Time is of the essence; I dropped most of mine in mid-February or March. Right after I was close to reaching unemployment from my first real world job, I said goodbye to those emotions. I realized I needed to stop being insecure, unhappy, and move forward. You can do it too.
If I ever act like a narcissistic, egotistical, and shallow human being, then I want you to know that is not my intention. If that is what anyone thinks of me, then honestly what do you want me to do about it? I cannot do anything to change that thought. That is the idea or opinion produced by thinking or occurring suddenly in your mind. I would not even try. I cannot please everyone. I do not live my life to have every human being like me.
If I were to change someone’s mind about something, then I would physically need to shrink myself. I would need to pretend I was “Ms. Frizzle” from Magic School bus. I would need to fly into that person’s brain and rewire their neurons. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I am perfectly fine living with my social media content or myself knowing someone does not like it. If you think I am an annoyance, then you can delete, unfollow, and unfriend me on any public platform. It is not a life or death situation. It happens.
There is not a little version of myself camping in my brain telling me not to do this or that. It feels amazing to like who I am for once. I wish everyone could feel this way. I have finally realized that I am not a bad person; I am a genuine person. If you think I am fake, then that is fine. I am fake; I am narcissistic, and annoying. All the bad qualities that lay within me lay within every human being. If we have different lifestyles, aspirations, and dreams, then I do not see a problem. What is the problem? My parents raised me to be an ambitious girl. I am not better than anyone because I am ambitious. How were your raised? Where did you grow up? How is your life going?
In all honesty, college was the most amazing experience. The state school I chose was my safety school, I was supposed to go to one of the Seven Sister schools. I had already put down my $600 deposit and two weeks before the deadline, I enrolled in another school. I am glad my Dad was there to save me from $200,000 in debt. I wish I could share him with the world. It is a blessing to have gone to college with two of my best friends N & E from high school. I have always had two extra sisters in life, a Jewish, and a Christian one. In high school, we were never the most popular girls; however, we were and always have been well-liked individuals.
We engaged in various extracurricular activities to prep for college, but I mostly did it to get out of the house, and build a social life for myself. Naturally, we each have a unique fashion sense and wear whatever we like. I only say that because most people like the way my friends dress. S and M were also two of our closest girlfriends during this stage of life. I do not know how I found such ambitious, beautiful, and intelligent friends. You truly are the people you surround yourself with in this world. We borrow everything from each other, from our closets and homes, to our siblings, and parents. Everything that is mine is theirs and everything that is theirs is mine.
We are a covalent bond, the relationship formed when two isolated hydrogen atoms come together to form a H2 molecule. Our bond is magnetic; it feels like we can read each other’s minds. I wish everyone could have his or her own N & E. We have built an empire for ourselves, friendships from the East to the West of this country, and others too. It is the most amazing feeling to grow up with your childhood friends. Two of my female cousins, were also my closest friends in high school. We studied, prayed, and ventured the Cape, New York, and most of New England together. At times, I miss spending almost every day with them. Growing up and growing apart is an unpleasant fact of life.
Anyways, as Timon and Pumbaa say, “Hakuna Matata,” I truly had no worries in high school. My family has always taken good care of me, so I feel the need to return the favor. I am aware that is a difficult concept for others to understand. However, it is a common understanding when you are a first-generation immigrant. I come from a communal culture where you do everything with your family. You cook, clean, eat, and study together. I would say that is a commonality in most cultures.
Many individuals “hate on,” my hometown saying it’s and that. Well, I do not know about you, but everyone I associate with is or was hard-working, intelligent, and overall good people. All of those who grew up in less fortunate circumstances, continued to find new ways to make money. Those who were more privileged had parents that advised them to get jobs early on. In addition, those who did not, focused on their educations, as it should be. I never had a desire to get a job and neither did my parents. It was a foreign concept to them.
My siblings were the reason I joined the work force early on, one of my first jobs was at Dunkin Donuts, and it was well-worth it. My sisters have always been hard on me, because their lives have, and always will be harder than mine will. In the age of technology, with services like LinkedIn, Indeed.com, and Craigslist, I was bound to be more successful than they were. Luckily, at D&D, I befriended many great people, I became closer with S & K, and we are still incredibly close to each other. We text each other often and see each other on occasion. Every time we reunite, we move to the next page in our stories. It feels like nothing has changed and those are my favorite friendships. The ones where years fly by, but they are always a phone call or text message away.
In retrospect, my sisters have always been the greatest hurdles in my life. Older siblings are like those construction signs when you are running twenty minutes late, have no patience left in you, and are forced to find an alternative route. In your teenage phase, whether you want to or not, you have to do what they say. I had to walk up the hill to school every day, even though we have always had the luxury of automobiles. They were like, “She has legs, and so she can walk.” I strut in my red Jessica Simpson cowgirl boots to and from my house. I still remember a friend from high school telling me how her mom saw me walk to school every day looking stylish. Laugh out loud, what a life. Jessica Simpson, can you bring those back? Apparently, you do not sell them anymore. I would love a new pair, kindly note that, I am a size 6.5!
The only reason I have close to a nice smile now is because I wanted braces for my sixteenth birthday. All of my friends had pretty straight white teeth and now I do too. People always look at me as if I was spoiled-rotten and wasteful, when it actuality I try not to be. I think I am a practical person. I am incredibly frugal most of the time. If you wonder why I have “chicken legs,” it is partially genetic, and from walking everywhere. I sound like one of those Cosby Show episodes or elders who says, “In my day, I walked five miles to get to school.” Legitimately, that is the story of my entire life.
I am grateful to have them though; I would have ended up being a selfish and spoiled brat without them. I have nothing against you if you grew up spoiled, I am happy for you. As a child, if you were spoiled, then that means someone truly cared about you and wanted you to have the best of everything. Every parent uses different parenting methods on his or her child. If I did not have siblings, then my parents would have done the same. My sisters were my first friends in life. Honestly, that is why I am a more social being than others are.
Far too many people have a polar perspective of Homo sapiens, as if you are either an introvert or extrovert, sweet or sour, nice or mean. We are a mix of everything; it just depends. I am extroverted in public, and other times I am not. I am introverted when I am around people I do not like or care for. Alternatively, it could be because I am exhausted and enjoy siting in silence. I do not always feel the need to speak or vocalize my opinion. I know it may be a surprise to most people, but sometimes I just sit there while everyone else talks about this and that. I love silence; it brings me peace in a world of chaos. I love sitting in a room with the television off, phone off, and just eating a meal. That is a personal preference; you do not need to like how I live my life.
My golden state sister is the reason I left high school a year earlier than everyone else did. I enrolled in a dual enrollment program at a local community college. I graduated with close to 30 college credits, AP classes, and a high-class ranking. You would think, I was on the fast track in life, but little did I know that was far from the truth. My first year of college, N, E and I decided to split up. They lived together in the building across from South Beach. I am the friend who has always been more independent, so I ended up matching with a random girl from Colorado. She is a spirited, kind-hearted, and wonderful person. In current time, C is being the brilliant girl I know and love, getting her Ph.D., and I could not be more proud of her. I hope to see her again soon.
As all roommates do, we had our moments; we had dumb arguments, would not speak to each other, and at times, disliked one another. However, that is all in the past and has made our friendship stronger. She almost transferred our first year, but I would not let her, and I am glad she decided to stay. We loved college and rekindled our flame every year. That same year, we befriended almost everyone on our floor and had many dorm parties. I am still rather close with the boys who lived next door to us.
I am not sure how we constantly had 20-30 people in our room on the weekends, but it was a good time. Even when I was not in my door room, I faced punishment for doing something wrong. Residential life is not a joke on campus or is it? There were nights when I would sleep across the hall in L’s bed, while talking to J, her roommate about everything under the sun. I have not seen L in a while, but I know she is doing well she will be going back to school soon and I am incredibly proud of her. I ran into J earlier this summer and I miss her, I am not exactly sure what she is up to these days. I truly was close to everyone.
Early on, C and I formed a friendship with a girl on the other side of the hallway. She is a real life Jewish American princess, minus the tiara, and adds a little show tunes. Did I call her a spoiled brat? No, however that was probably your immediate thought. You should not assume things based on a single term or stereotype. I purposely used that word to get your attention. Sometimes, I just say things to get a reaction out of people. If you think I am anti-Semitic, racist, or xenophobic, then you should understand that I am far from it. I said that term because she is a Jewish American girl who works hard for everything and deserves to live like royalty. She is a hardcore New Yorker who thinks it is the greatest city in the entire world. It is an incredible place, and I can understand why many do not want to leave it.
Honestly, I do not know if I could live there. There is far too much trash, too many people, and options. It sounds exhausting; it is like walking into Forever 21. You see every pattern, color, and section of the store jumping out at you. The city is your oyster and you can discover just about anything. I am not Columbus though; I do not have time to discover every territory, store, and restaurant. I just run in the opposite direction, I thoroughly enjoy online shopping. Malls will be non-existent soon anyways, due to e-commerce stores, like, Amazon, Alibaba, and EBay. I wish Jeff Bezos, Jack Ma, and Pierre Omidyar could teach me there ways. There is always something new to try and a fun place to visit.
Back to college, R may live “next door,” however if she is ever in town, we try to link up. The relationships I formed my first year of college are the ones that are closer to my heart. My “girlfriends” or “the girls” as some call them, are people I spend time with on a regular basis. If we do not see each other in person, we talk on the phone, text, and/or make plans in the future. I am a firm believer that you do meet people for a reason.We met J our first year of college, she is my Brady and sometimes, I am her Belicheck. My team is greater than any New England sports team. That is right, even better than Brady is! I think they are more attractive than the Patriots are too. I will take a picture and we can look at it in juxtaposition together. You can beg to differ, I do not mind.
Every year of college, I experienced the good and the bad, yet nothing compares to the first year of freedom. It is the period where you learn the true meaning of independence. Everyone wants to befriend everyone. In a gradual process, you learn how to become an adult and live your own life. You eat too much at the dining halls. The thought of reminiscing about college makes me want to tear up inside. Grabs tissue, someone hug me. That year, I met A she is stunning girl who recently moved to Kentucky with her boyfriend. I am proud of her for making a change and moving somewhere new.
What else happened that year? This is one of my favorite stories. Some random strangers tagged me in Barstool Sports article on Facebook. It was entitled something like, “What Does Your Female Genitalia Tastes like Based on the Region of the World You Are From?” Apparently, I am a Middle Eastern blend and taste like a falafel. Well, I am not Middle Eastern; let us pretend that I am though. Those boys would have been correct. Good job!
If you understood how your body regulates itself, then you would know the expression, “You are what you eat,” is a valid statement. I would taste like humus, grape leaves, and all of the Mediterranean Sea. I am not sure why you are thinking about me in that way. I can promise I have never thought of you in that manner nor will I ever. You are just crude. I am just following our President’s example and using “locker-room talk,” to prove a point to you. I would never tolerate anyone speaking to me in that manner. I would probably sue you for sexual harassment in fifteen seconds. Kindly do not look or speak to me, I think you are stupid.
My first year, I took sophomore level classes in hopes of graduating early, however I ended graduating a semester late. Stay tuned, you will find out why. I had a 3.9 or 4.0 and I was pleased with myself, however everything changed the following year. It was a “messy experience” to say the least. I had the best housing on campus; however, I tried to help L and ended up ruining my housing situation.
Rather than living in Crampton, I lived in a corner room in a tower. I ended up meeting M, my first Pakistani-Muslim friend outside of high school though. She was my home away from home. We grew together, went to house parties, ate every meal, and just made the most of every day. She ended up transferring and starting over in another school, but we still keep in touch. She is an architect now and is getting married soon. I am so proud of the person she is today. Everyone from the heavens above is looking down on you and smiling. I love you M!
Anyways, the greatest challenge that year was having my sister influence what I should do with my life. She was just trying to help; yet it did not. I have always wanted to be a lawyer. Do you think it is possible to be destined for a certain career path? I feel like I was destined to be a lawyer. I can feel it in every fiber of my body, mind, and soul.
Honestly, lawsuits are a guilty pleasure; I love talking about them with everyone. Laugh aloud, who even says that? I do! I am glad; I picked an ambiguous field that touches upon every other field. I love helping people, whether it is meditating, negotiating, or arbitration for the greater good. I have become a master at conflict resolution, and I can thank L, one of my favorite professors for that insight.
It felt like I was learning how to read hieroglyphics blind. Imagine if someone blindfolded you, asked you to walk on a ledge, and then the only way you could survive was by learning how to walk again, that is what that class felt like. I just could not follow direction and almost fell right off. The professor who taught that course was too brilliant. If you asked me to take the same class again now, I hope I could have done better than I did that year. My brain does not naturally function in a binary, 1-2; buckle my shoe, algorithmic manner. I have learned that those who have minds that are more creative may have difficulty with binary subjects. Do you know why?
If your child does not do well in the STEM subjects, it has nothing to do with intelligence. He or she may need a little more practice understanding a binary system. In the Asian culture, the math and sciences are the only subjects that matter. My Dad always told me that, I could be a doctor, engineer, or computer scientist. I am not trying to stereotype anyone. However, most people know that this is fact for most Asians. This is how our parents raise us to think. I told him, I was going to be a lawyer, and that is exactly what I will do. Too many people have a black and white perspective of the world. When in actuality, it is about fifty different shades of gray.
I naturally just think outside the box. I have had a vibrant imagination since childhood. My siblings and I would jump on couches pretending the carpet was lava. I would put my stuffed animals on the couch and pretend I was a bus driver. We would spend every summer in the library signing up for the reading competitions and playing video games like “Duck Hunt,” or “Tomb Raider.” We would go on walks with my brother, play on our deck, do puzzles, color, or ride our bicycles. We would help our parents clean and cook.
While, many of my Caucasian friends summer on the Cape, my family would I travel across the United States to see my cousins. Even when we did not have much, we had the best childhood. If you ever meet my aunts, uncles, and cousins, then you would see how generous some Muslim Americans are in this world. Members of my family have nice lives because the men who became citizens here work long and hard hours for everything. My dad grew up having everyone in his house every day of the week, so I embrace a similar lifestyle. I am an all-inclusive kind of person.
Where was I, oh yes, sophomore year of college, I took about six or seven classes each semester, while helping my family, and maintaining a social life. It was an overwhelming lifestyle to say the least. I was taking economics, accounting, and a bunch of other classes. Math has always been a little harder for me. The truth is, I have no problem comprehending it, yet it may take me a little longer than someone else.
Now, I can do any accounting, finance, or economics problems lickety-split. I enjoy most things in life, and I can easily teach myself just about anything. Please do not interpret that as bragging I naturally love learning new things. I know most people do not necessarily do well in school or like it. That is fine, I just enjoy it. I met one of my closest friends, F, in Accounting 221, she is the reason I found a job at State Street, and I am forever grateful for her.
Sadly, that year was my least favorite because for the first time, my great grade-point-average throne fell into shambles. The act of constantly picking up and dropping off someone at the airport, taking sick people to appointments, going to the grocery store or pharmacy is a hassle on top of being a college student. I have always had about a million things on my to-do-lists. Honestly, I am not complaining, it was just too much to handle at times, and it reflected in my grades. I have always done well academically, so I did not react to this situation well at the time. If I ever venture off to law school, I do not want to have to focus on anything other than myself for once. I just want the freedom that many of my friends and other already have in their lives. I just want to focus on school.
During my second semester, my roommate M transferred to another school, so I had to find a new one. My pride and joy, J came to the rescue, she is the ray of sunshine in my life. She is always the first person to defend me or listen to what I have to say without arguing with me. I tried to switch our room, yet we ended up in another corner room on a 24-hour quiet floor. The universe just hated my existence at this point. We made the best of every moment though, the only friends we had on that floor were the boys-next-door. We left funny notes on their door like “What she order fish fillet?” Sometimes, I pretend to be Kanye & Jay-Z sue me. We would leave buffalo chicken wraps from “Grab N’ Go,” outside their door because were bored and wanted to entertain ourselves. Apparently, those boys liked to smoke, so we ended up doing them a favor.
That year, J & I faced serious consequences for our actions. Apparently, we were yelling outside our room about “Daylight Savings? “Although that may sound like something I would do, I can promise you I did not. I am innocent, your honor! People are crazy. Aside from the ridiculousness, we studied at the library almost every day, went to the gym at times twice a day, and constantly ate every dessert in Berkshire Dining Commons. I still miss those Oreo coconut bars. I am not sure, why people choose to do drugs; I would rather be addicted to sugar. If drugs give you joy, then do what you want with your life.
By first-semester junior year, I could have graduated and finished college. I was not ready for the real world just yet. I tried to apply to the business school about two or three times, unfortunately I did not get in. Looking back on it now, I am almost glad it did not happen for me. Does everything happen for a reason? Sometimes, it feels that way, and other times it does not. First, Isenberg School of Management is without a doubt a great business school. I am not bitter. Even though, I was not admitted I still recruit for them. Recently, I convinced N my previous manager’s son to go to UMass and consider the business school.
The one thing I strongly dislike about the school is the fact that it breeds egoism in too many students. Far too many “IsenBros” walk around as if they are Jordan Belfort or some hotshot hedge fund manager. You did not graduate yet. You are not Belfort, I am not sure if you are aware or not, however he went to American University. If you think you are better than everyone else is, then that is cool. Good for you.
In the words of Kendrick Lamar, you should try to “Stay humble!” It is a remarkable school, I am proud of my friends that graduated with a Bachelors in Business Administration; however, it is not Harvard, Wharton, or Booth. Is it? Last time, I checked it was not; there is more to life than just business. Honestly, there should be more integration among the different colleges on campus.
The Schools of Social and Natural Sciences breed anthropologists, economists, lawyers, Chief Communications Officers, surgeons, neuroscientists, and pharmacists. The College of Engineering produces some of the most brilliant innovators in the world. When you do what you love, the paper chases you. You can keep your Bachelors of Business Administration; I never needed one to make something of myself. You did not want me in your school and now I am happy I was not because it made me work even harder.
At the time, I did not want to admit defeat. I emailed most of the advisors, and argued with the administration about it for semesters. It felt like I had all the keys to the house; however, someone continued to change the locks on the doors. Every time, I tried to find another door, someone would hold it down to make sure I could not get in. That is exactly what happened; I could not get into the business school. My 3.9 had dropped to less than a 3.5 because I took so many classes at once. The administration did not want to accept someone into a rising business school. I would have lowered their “ranking” or statistics.
It is okay; it is my fault for applying late. If that was not the icing on the cake, then the honor’s college kicked me out too. I am just another number in the world, right? You are only your salary, grades, and the number of likes you get on a photograph. I think that is a terrible evaluation of a person; however, that is how most people think today.That semester, I even retook the classes I got B’s and I did it without getting credit for them. I ended up getting A’s, but still no luck. It is okay; if it was not meant to be, then it was not meant to be, right?
I do not regret most things I have done. I do “need” this blog/website to get into law school. I am applying the traditional way and I have worked hard enough to get into the T-14 list anyways. At least, I hope so? Fingers crossed. I am just doing this for my family and myself.
Sadly, I could not take business classes during the school year, so I took them in the summer while I traveled with my family or when I got my job at State Street junior year. My parents and I spent an extra $15,000 for those classes because I could not take them during the fall or spring semesters. This is not a sad story though; you should not feel bad for me. I do not feel bad for myself. I promise the story continues to unfold just continue reading or do not.
During my junior year, I lived with four of my closest friends in the “newest and most luxurious,” real estate on campus in the North End. It is an indescribable feeling living with your best friends. You literally do everything together; whether you are studying, eating, crying, sleeping, and laugh about every single dumb thing you do together. We used to pull pranks on each other; N&E shared a bathroom, while J & I shared another. They took brownies from the dining hall and put them in our toilet to embarrass us when our male friends came over.
Ladies, it did not work then and it is not going to work now! We danced on our furniture to Kesha’s “Timber” to celebrate when the administration cancelled classes due to a natural disaster. In actuality, it went down, we were yelling timber, and we were moving and or dancing. We spent Monday nights watching, “The Bachelor,” countless hours in the library, and on the weekends we would celebrate every “A”, internship, and job offer.
I cannot forget to mention that, I met A, the real life version of Eloise in Paris, New York, Maryland, and now Florida. Her heart and soul are just as beautiful as her mind and body. I cannot even experience in worlds what she means to me. J and I also met the unbelievable O in the laundry room one day in North. He is praiseworthy; I miss him and his sassy attitude.
That same year, I started my job at State Street, and made friendships with many successful people. I am such a chameleon; everyone thought I was in the business school. M and I are two Cape Cod babes that I met and I truly admire for their hospitality, kindness, and friendship during college. They were nothing but cordial and always invited me to their parties or to chill at their house with all their beautiful friends. I apologize for not attending most of them; I was dumb in college and did not want to attend events without my friends. In addition, E is a beautiful soul that I became close with from Easton. She has a voice like Adele or Ariana Grande; she introduced me to her Sharp Attitude crew. I love A, S, K, and M too!
I had many close friends at State Street; I could not possibly name every single person off the top of my head. However, I may speak about of a few others. N is one of my closest friends and biggest supporters; he is killing it in Manhattan right now. We are getting the “Frrrozen Haute Chocolate” at Serendipity-3 one day when we can afford it. Probably not soon though haha. We can bring NP1 and G with us too! Also, I recently hung out with T, my personal bodyguard and I want him to quit his day job to protect me. Who was the actual bodyguard at OTT, you or me? I am just asking for a friend. I miss everyone.
In the summer, we would work all day and do just about anything at night. We would go to house parties, eat many meals at Panda East, and hang out with the townies. J, one of my favorite people is an Amherst townie. He always told me I was only book-smart, what do you think of me now? It was a fun place to live even when it was a ghost town. There is a reason it is one of the best college towns, we have the best dining halls in the country, public research facilities, and Antonio’s Pizza! Can I get some hot cheese up front?
In the summer, when I traveled to Pakistan, I took online business classes. My male cousins took me to the nearest hotel in the Himalayan Mountains that had Wi-Fi, so I could work on my assignments. They waited with me until the “wee hours” of the night. I ended up walking down the street alone, and I scared the living daylights out of my “Baji”my dad’s eldest sister. It is not a social norm for women to stay out late at night and walk alone there.
Luckily, I ended up creating my own major and used those classes towards creating a valuable degree. There was no way I was going to graduate with nothing to show for all my hard work. I worked diligently to raise my grade-point-average back up; I was a best friend with those GPA calculators for semesters. The fact of life is if you have only had to worry about your grades your entire life, then reality will always be a little harder for you. I am not trying to offend anyone by saying that statement. It is the truth whether you want to believe it or not. Similarly, to most human beings, I faced a number of obstacles in college, yet my friends and I still miss it at times. Some days it feels like it was yesterday, and other days it feels like centuries ago.
If you are ever in Amherst, then you should go to Judie’s, Black Sheep, and Mission Cantina. On a Thursday, you should go to the Pub, say, you do not have cash, and you will not have to pay cover. Ladies watch your backs; beware of men who try to dance with you without your consent. We would end our nights at Lit and chase the bus back to campus. Whether rain or shine, you could catch my friends and me, with plastic bags on our heads in town or sunglasses on our eyes hiking up Mt. Tom. I am guessing the plastic bag thing is not something the average American engages in or is it?
Friends from other our hometowns would visit and continuously come back for more. M, one of my close friends from high school would continue to come back, even though she had a few less than pleasant experiences. I am still sorry you froze your buns off in a car outside of Lit. I have never snuggled anyone for so long. I am grateful you did not die of hypothermia. It was the best. Even though, we thoroughly enjoy adulthood, we all still miss the glory days. Homecoming 2018? I cannot make it this year. Cries a little inside.
Many people say my friends and I look like fun people, and we truly are. You can tune into our world on Instagram. I like my social media to consist of people who are accepting of every race, religion, and ethnicity. I do not accept family members or judgmental people. It is a personal decision that should not bother anyone. No one needs to judge how my friends dress, act, or what activities they engage in. This is more so a reference to random adults and some family members than anyone else. Worry about your own friends, sisters, and daughters.
On the Internet, people who hate on others’ lifestyles are “trolls” in this bridge of life. Why do people spend time hating on other people? Honestly, I just do not understand. What is wrong with someone having a good life and sharing it with others? That is the purpose of public platforms to share your ideas, thoughts, and aspirations with other human beings.
Humor is a person’s psychological response characterized by a positive emotion of amusement. If you do or do not find me humorous, then please understand the neurons in your brain are or are not compatible with my sense of humor. The benign violation theory states that we find something funny when a) it violates the way we think the world should work and b) when it does so in a way that is not threatening. This is what makes comedians entertaining; right Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, and Louis C.K.?
I am not sure why everyone is obsessed with the little details of social media. Everyone has different standards for what one follows. There could be a million reasons why someone does or does not follow you back. Maybe, one does not know you; find you attractive, funny, and or entertaining. You do not post frequently enough. Maybe, one does not like you or has not seen your request. And the least goes on. If I do not watch someone’s Snap story or like a picture, then you should not jump to conclusions. People are busy and do not speak every moment on the Internet.
I am not trying to offend anyone; people absolutely should not care what I think of them. Yet, some people do. Why do you care if I like you are not? I am not some “unbelievable, inspiring, and amazing” person. There are many people who do not like me. That’s is 100% okay. I am like everyone else. If that is what you like to post, then you do you! If someone does not follow me back, then that is perfectly fine. There are bigger problems in the world than counting your followers, likes, and views.
The primary reason I use social media is to catch up with people. I do not feel the need to “creep,” on others. That is a logical fallacy in itself. You create false pretenses and try to convince yourself to like what someone else likes. You only know what people want you to see. I love social media for the convenience. I frequently post about my parents because my Dad almost passed away last summer. Therefore, I never know when the last time I will hear their voices or see them in real life will be. Even when I am miles apart from those I care about most, I can see what he or she did that day.
Anyways, back to my story about my friendships. My closest friends and I are a sisterhood; we are “Kappa Kappa Cuties,” and an incredibly strong force field. I would say my friends are some serious alpha females, I wish to be more like each one of them. You could lay us in a dumpster, and you would think we were chilling in the Burj Khalifa hotel. Some of my favorite memories are lying in bed talking about our presents, pasts, and futures. In terms of social media, I have never found it “creepy,” if anyone saw something I posted on a public platform. It is okay if you think it is an unpleasant feeling or uneasy about it. Many people tell me when they see something I post online. I am flattered that I even grasp someone’s attention. Thanks for noticing me whoever you.
In terms of being a Millennial, our generational stereotype is that we are lazy, self-entitled, and social media obsessed beings. Those people just do not know the millennials I know. I would love to meet you Simon Sinek. Every Millennial I associate with works harder than you could ever imagine. Say “Mashallah.” That is something Arab speakers and Muslims say, to show joy and praise, kindled upon good news. Kindly bless me and say “Mashallah,” do not worry, I’ll return the favor. It is a means of protection, similar to that of the hamsa or evil eye. It protects you against the evil force known as “envy.”
In my eyes, it does not matter if you have a high school diploma or a fancy degree. I know many intelligent people who never pursued higher education. Those who pity themselves, go nowhere fast in life. I do not waste my time helping those who do not help themselves. It is not my job to be a global moral compass. I cannot physically help every human being rise up in society. I never said I was able to accomplish something that ambitious.
Anyways, college was one of the most interesting periods in my life. Girls are funny. Some random girls envied and tried to compete with me for the “attention of men.” This is just a natural instinct for girls, I still do not completely understand it. I am not sure why this is my fault. I could care less if most people noticed me. I am sure you care more than I ever would. I did not ask this person to approach me. You can have any boy I can have, this is not a competition. I have been the girl no one looked twice at in my childhood. Now, if someone “only,” notices me for my beauty, then I am not impressed with you.
Why should I admire and respect you for noticing my beauty? I do not live my life for men; I live my life for myself. Most people do not strive for what I want in this world. Every human being is different. I am just not easily satisfied is all. If the sky’s the limit, then I am reaching for the clouds, the sun, the stars, and the moon. I am selfish and I want the universe. I am no longer at war with myself and it is the greatest feeling. I wish everyone could feel this way. If you do not already feel that way, then I hope you do soon.
Last stop, senior year, if I could give anyone a piece of advice, then it would be to cherish every moment of your college experience. Time truly does fly, right out the window, and then you face adulthood. It is the time in your life where you are old enough to know better, however you can still get away with ludicrousness. Honestly, I feel bad for anyone who did not have a good experience. If I knew anyone that felt that way, then I would do what I always do. I would introduce you to my friends and we would have day. I feel like that Lady Gaga meme, when she’s “talented, brilliant, amazing, show stopping, spectacular…” That is how I would describe my senior year. Within the last several months, N & I laid in bed replaying it and laughing for a good thirty minutes.
First semester, I lived at home and commuted to school because I did not become a Resident Assistant. The decision makers placed me in the “alternative-pool,” because of my lack of confidence. My girlfriends lived in the affordable housing off-campus. I never paid rent or permanently lived with them; however, I always felt like I was part of “23 Pufton Penthouse.” As Miley Cyrus says, “I’m in the club high off purp with some shades on, tatted up, mini skirt with my J’s on.” I do not do drugs, have tattoos, or usually wear miniskirts, yet I can easily relate to that song. Maybe, I should buy myself a pair of J’s. Michael Jordan, can you hook it up? 23!
In any case, when one commutes to campus, there are stronger feelings of detachment. It is difficult to network, befriend classmates, and exhausting to travel back and forth each day. I was luckier than most because I already had strong allies on the home front. I still worked at State Street and my grades raised higher up the grade-point-average ladder again. At this point, my luck was changing for the better and I am not even Irish. I am not Indian either, I am Pakistani and I will never let anyone forget it.
I strongly dislike when people assume my ethnicity. I understand most people do not know my ethnicity, however you should never assume. Every person from every ethnicity looks different; there are lights, olives, and dark-skinned Pakistani people. There is a difference between stating that, “You are Indian, right?” and “Are you Indian?” In one case, you made an assumption while asking a question, and in the other case, you asked for clarification. I am not Columbian, Mexican, Brazilian, Albanian, Indian, Lebanese, Persian or anything else. I am Pakistani. When a Pakistani person says, “Pakistan Zindabad,” he or she is expressing a sense of patriotism.
Figuratively, I always hold an American and Pakistani flag in my hand. I would rather be the United Nations than a “xenophobic,” or “Islamophobic” individual. Live your life in fear and you will not last long. I am not fearless; I just have tougher skin than some individuals. I am impulsive, I have cat-like reflexes, and act fast. I do not have time in my day to second-guess myself. It has frightens people knowing how certain I am of myself. I have spent most of my life being uncertain, and I am done with that chapter.
Throughout my life, I have had people bruise, abuse, and use me. It is always been mental rather than physical. It truly breaks my heart when I see the child pornography, rape, and sexual trafficking cases at work. Luckily, I am able to pick myself up again; unfortunately; I cannot say the same for anyone else. Fall down seven times and stand up eight. What about you?
Second semester, my dream came true and I finally became a Resident Assistant on-campus. I was on the third floor of Cance, the building adjacent to my freshman dormitory. I ended up taking J’s spot because she left to travel abroad. She is Dr. M’s; little sister and I love both of those girls. M is a shining star in a sky of darkness. Their parents raised them well and they can speak Polish, “Cześć!” Let us make pierogies and Zupa grzybowa. I cannot eat kielbasa because it is not “halal.” We can bring MS and N too! I am incredibly proud of MS for achieving her dream and finally attending medical school. It was worth the wait was it not? I love you.
Anywho, all of my residents know how much I loved them and that job. I recommended them for jobs, edited their resumes, and hugged a couple in lounges when they were drunk and crying about being caught drinking underage. I miss them and I am incredibly proud of many of them. I am glad I was their coach in life for a little while.
When I was a Resident Assistant, I was closest with B&D, two of my male residents. I thought I was clever when I called them “Drake,” however; they were unimpressed by my humor. Rude, I think I am quite comical. They were two people from Massachusetts that had never traveled anywhere outside the country. I am not sure why I was intriguing to them, but I am glad I met them. In a world full of millennials, they were my avocado toast. Add a little salt and pepper with tomatoes. It is amazing! They took me to dinner, bought birthday presents, and spent hours of their lives talking to me about everything. We would talk about how pretty the girls on the floor were, their aspirations in life, and love for Germany.
They both ended up studying abroad in Europe for a semester. I feel like most of my residents did. I was confused when I noticed that D& B traveled separately, however I am glad they decided to venture out on their own. You learn more about yourself that way. B is for brilliant; he is attending Boston College Law School this year. He beat me in the race to law school. It is okay, I will catch up or at least I hope so. Meanwhile, D stands for determined; I am honestly not sure what he is doing right now. I feel like Minaj at the VMA’s, “D what’s good?” Ich liebe Deutschland! There is a high probability I loved being a Resident Assistant, because M was mine and she is the best social justice representative of them all.
As the spring semester approached, my friends and I just continued to love life. There were absolutely moments of stupidity, uncertainty, and unhappiness, yet we faced those battles together. One of my least favorite days was when, some drunken baboon told me that, “I was the ugliest girl in the world,” outside of the Pub during Blarney. I know what it feels like to be Lizzie Velasquez; we have many of the same problems.
You would not believe what that would do to someone’s ego. I live in one of the most liberal states in the country. It is supposed to be some kind of safe haven. Right? Wrong. Racism exists everywhere, especially in big cities with high levels of diversity. Various studies show that, Boston is the second city in the United States with the most hate crimes. You cannot just point out a racist human being. It is like spotting a Muslim. I can memorize some lines in Arabic and say I am a Muslim. That does not mean I am who I say I am.
Whoever that boy is, wherever you are in the world, I want you to know I think you suck as a human being. I have only ever had two guys truly hurt my feelings, one was during my sophomore year and then there was this random stranger. I did not want to go out with my friends or have anyone look at me. I do not tell anyone these things because no one has empathy for anyone. People say things like, “It must be so hard to be yadadada kind of person.” It is hard to be a human being. Period. It does not matter what you look like.
My close friends knew how I felt though. When one bad thing happens, your mind correlates those insults, and that is exactly how you will feel. I seriously do not have time for feelings or emotions. I am always helping someone else, so I put those insults aside. Obviously, I have emotions I just handle myself differently than other people. I am more proud of myself when I overcome an obstacle without the help of someone else.
I felt like that way for a long time and it took me about five months to get over it. It is easy for anyone else to tell you not to care what someone else thinks of you. If you have never been insulted in that way, then you would have a difficult time understanding how that feels. There is not enough Internet validation in the world for me. If someone said that to me today, then I would ask him how many girls he knew. I am the ugliest one in the entire world. That is A-Okay with me; I do not need every person in the world to think I am attractive.
There is more to life than being considered “attractive.” Honestly, that person probably spends more time sitting on his cellphone rating every girl on Barstool Sports than anything else. I am sure the only hand you hold at night is your own. Good riddance, I have nothing against you. I honestly just do not care for you or your existence. Although I made that comment about Barstool Sports, I think that platform of news is hilarious. I die of laughter reading those ridiculous posts. People are ridiculous.
Anyways, when spring break arrived at our doorstep, my friends and I took an elegant vacation to a Mexican city on the Yucatán Peninsula bordering the Caribbean Sea. That is what I told my parents, they definitely knew I was up to no good. I have such a good eye for photographs; everyone thought my friends and I were on a five-star resort. I would say that is not necessarily true. It was far from it. Let me tell you. We upgraded to an ocean room suite for $40/person. One of us got food poisoning the first night. Two of them got into a heated debate about nothing. We faked a medical emergency after one of us accidentally locked ourselves out of our rooms.
The food was sub-par. We befriended some boys from the University of Maryland and at times, I still talk to one of them. He is an Iranian-Muslim that also bet me to law school too. On the beach, a flock of birds, while watching four plates of chicken wings and fries attacked me. Does that sound like a date night with Future to you? It does to me. I ran for dear life, regardless my friends were thoroughly disappointed with my actions. They still will not let a girl live it down.
I do not know about you; however, I am sure if a flock of birds ran after you then you would have run too. We can go swimming in wings, French fries, ketchup, and honey mustard anytime you guys want to just let me know. Now, I want a shroom burger, waffle fries and a milkshake from Shake Shack now. I lost fifteen pounds during Ramadan, so I have been trying to gain my weight back since.
Anyhow, we ended up doing everything our parents told us not to do. We have had a number of near death experiences together, and I am not sure how we are still standing. I do some ridiculous things, how am I still alive? I have had Final Destination life experiences; I have driven my car twice when the brakes completely stopped working. I have driven in arctic tundra like whether in New England and had my entire car spin out of control as I faced incoming traffic.
On the flight home from Mexico, we experienced turbulence and a rocky ride home. In my eyes, there must be a greater force looking out for all of those I love and care for every day. There is no way someone could possibly get this lucky in life. On the other hand, maybe, there is not one? Alhamdulillah. I do not know. God? Allah? Buddha? Adonai?
After that spring semester, I graduated with my class and still had one semester left. That summer most of my friends pursued other degrees or found real-world jobs. In the meantime, I found an internship at Aetna. I am fortunate for my sister that lives in Massachusetts. Although there are times where I dislike her, she does everything for me. She helped pay for my trip to Mexico, purchased suits from Banana Republic for my first internship, and always makes time to talk to me. She is an admirable human being and I am lucky to have such a good role model in life.
I just dislike when people offer their kindness and use it against me later on. I never ask anyone for anything because far too many people count favors like pennies. I am an independent person and can do most things for myself. Currently, money makes the world go round and without it, you mean nothing to anyone. Some people are so poor all they have is money. You forget to feed the hungry. Forget to care about anyone but yourself. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen others scoff at a homeless person. Fortunately, I have never been homeless; however, I know what it looks like because I volunteer at homeless shelters.
My parents taught me to care about everyone and never to act as if I was better than anyone else was. Maybe yours did too? I have spent close to five years of my life volunteering with homeless children. I have traveled to Pakistan where there are those who live on the streets every day, in the exact same spot, and no one looks twice at them. The government cannot support them and non-governmental organizations do not exist. In a country with no social mobility, your life expectancy is shorter than the average.
If I ever “make it big”, then I would never donate to the government. I would build my own schools, shelters, and organizations that help war-ridden territories develop again. I still have two cousins that live in Pakistan and my Mom wants to bring them here the legal way. What is wrong with wanting a better life for your family? They deserve to have the best of everything in life. My “Mamu,” mother’s brother passed away a couple of months ago. I wish I were closer to him, however I was not. He was the youngest in his family, and he took care of his three sisters. He helped members in my family build their homes. He took care of his two brilliant and lively nephews.
Unfortunately, he passed away due to kidney failure and it is heartbreaking because my parents feel guilty for not being there for him. No one told them that he was sick. I tell them that they should not blame themselves. If they had known who truly knows whether you could have saved his life. It is not their fault; they cannot save everyone, even if they want to do so. They are innocent. I can see how much it hurts my Mom. I called her name that night and she woke up in a panic. I am always disappointed with the world because every time I bring a glimpse of sunshine into her life, someone else brings the clouds, lightning, and thunderstorm. I do not wait for sunshine anymore; I bring it.
I do not need anyone to pity or talk to her. She is the strongest person I have ever met. I am the one person who always talks to her on the phone, asks her how her day was, and how she is doing. I can tell you what she does every day at every hour and even the outfit she wore. She is an incredibly simple and selfless person. I love taking her out to do things; I am one of the only people she trusts. Sometimes, she does not even trust me. My Dad told me he cried more for this loss more than he did for his own parents, brother, and best friends. He spent hours looking up the best kidney transplant facilities from Peshawar to Karachi. “Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raaji’oon.”
The Middle East and South Asia were once the most beautiful regions of the world and now, they are war zones, wastelands, and fields of violence. I do not read about Pakistani history in textbooks because I sit and eat meals with my parents every other weekend. I know more about my parents than my both of sisters. My parents are older and in their sixties, yet they remember everything. Former President Eisenhower, Johnson, and Carter visited the country of mangoes, cricket players, and jasmine flowers. Many other American Presidents visited too. Sorry, I fell into another tangent again, let me continue my story about college.
I have always given the semblance of someone who does not care. I regret the days of my life that I spent caring about what everyone else thought of me. The days and nights, I spent crying about not being enough. Not being tall, skinny, light-skinned, or pretty. In the world we live in, there is not a single person who feels like they are good enough for anything. The stereotype for Caucasian males is you are all the reason for slavery or devotees to the house of big businesses. People claim that African-Americans are “n-words,” thugs who live in the street and deal drugs. Women have always been the underdogs, marginalized in every civilization. Hispanics are “sexy,” and supposedly abuse our social security system. In the past, I was a 98% I do not care and 2% of caring about what others think. Now, I am 100% and truly do not care
Stereotypes exist because there is “some,” truth to that classification; however that is not the whole truth. I am a female minority and when I walk into any office, most men in that room think that Human Resources killed two birds with one stone for this chick. I am diversity quota for corporations to use to their advantage.
There is a dichotomy in how people’s minds work, like you can only be pretty or smart. Well, that is funny because every single women I associate whether it is a hairdresser, makeup artist, or entrepreneur is smart in my eyes. You do not need to share the same passion as anyone else. End rant on stereotypes and back to my story about the near-end of my college career.
While, my friends ventured off into the real world, I spent that summer as an intern at Aetna. Luckily, my sister had ties in Hartford, the insurance capital of the world. I only applied to that one internship and I got it. It was such a life changing experience. They never hire a college intern in the Law & Regulatory Department, yet the department took a chance on me. I just got lucky.
My team and manager loved me, I am grateful for that experience. MA, my manager treated me as a daughter. I hope she is well and healthy I made friends with many amazing people. I spoke with many of the remarkable attorneys in the department including N, who went to the University of Southern California and the University of California, Los Angeles for law school? I may be mistaken; it was either one of the two. How am I so lucky? Even though, I did not live in the hotel with everyone, I would stop by and hang with the interns when I got a chance.
While I interned at Aetna, S, was my cubby buddy and mentor. Originally, he was supposed to go to medical school; however, he ended up pursing law school instead. He graduated from the University of Virginia and currently practices in Hartford. I met a real life Blair Waldorf. N, is the definition of a real life Gossip Girl character. She’s a fabulous and fun double Ivy graduate. At first, I absolutely despised her. She would say things to me like, “How did you get this internship?” My personal favorite moment was when she said, “We have the same Kate Spade bag except mine is bigger than yours.” Well, my purse is smaller because I am a petite person. It would have been a long six to seven weeks, so I chose to make an ally over an enemy.
She has the most beautiful soul of all. She let me visit her, showed me around Cornell, and took me to an Ivy League law school party. She grew up in the city and never went to house parties, so it was fun to see her in a different environment. I still keep in touch with her and I am upset that I could not make her wedding in Israel. I will see you soon. We made friendships with many other remarkable people too. The best part about befriending law students was having more mentors in life.
Within the last few weeks of my internship, I wanted to meet Mark Bertolini; he is the Chief Executive Officer of the corporation. Many people did not think it was possible, yet I had faith and I knew I could make it happen. After my team and I won the capstone challenge, I felt great about myself. My sister and I found someone who knew his secretary and it was a blessing to have met her! Thank you, thank you, and thank you! He is a brilliant, humble, and respectable person. During this period, I was not entirely confident in myself. On the first day of our first meeting, I still remember saying we were going to win the competition and we did!
In the fall, when I returned to campus, I was a resident assistant for a new class of freshmen. This group of residents was my absolute favorite. The difference in this scenario was that, I was their first resident assistant. Most of them got in trouble within the first week of school, I am still laughing about it. I cannot even name one particular resident because I love them all so much. I can tell you about things they told me five years ago.
In all honesty, they made my last semester in college enjoyable, entertaining, and fun. Sometimes, I feel like their mother, other times I am their good friend, yet most of the time I am just another mentor in their lives. It is wonderful feeling to know many of them still reach out to me when they need help studying for something, get an internship, or how to do this or that. Without a doubt in my mind, I can tell you, my residents were the best on the entire campus. Hands-down. Case-closed. We do not need to discuss this any further. T was my partner-in-crime and the best co-Resident Assistant. He is currently killing it in Manhattan working for Ernst and Young. I was part of the best Residential Life staff on-campus too.
Low-key for forever looking like a freshman.
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