Chapter 1: The World through Brown Eyes

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Disclaimer: You should read it with the perspective, ” If I were a billionaire, then this is what I would do.”  The celebrity references are to make this a fun read. These are formatted in chapters because it will eventually look like a book. It will only makes sense to you if you read from start to finish.

I spent 24 years of my life being the one of the most insecure, self-conscious, unsatisfied, and fearful person in the world. I am proud to say that I am no longer that girl. I said goodbye to her about seven months ago, and I have not looked back at her since. Throughout my childhood, early adulthood, and even in the real world, there were days when I could not stand looking at myself in pictures. Honestly, you can blame societal expectations for most of your insecurities. I could not look in a mirror without bursting out into tears. It is embarrassing to admit it aloud to myself now. I felt awkward, self-conscious, and ashamed.

You never truly realize how mentally abusive you are to yourself. Ladies, do not even think, “I am ugly without makeup on.” The limbic system is one of the key areas of your brain that deals with showing, recognizing, and controlling the body’s reactions to emotions. If you tell yourself that you are ugly with or without makeup, then mentally you will feel that way. You should never say that to yourself, instead, you should say, “I do not feel attractive today or at this moment.” There is nothing wrong with wearing makeup, I love wearing it too. You should just learn to love yourself for who you are or are not.

When I was younger, instead of taking pictures of myself, I would take pictures of everything else. My mom naturally had fair skin and wanted me to look like her. She would tell me to use natural remedies to lighten my complexion. She has never been satisfied with my appearance. Yet, a few months ago, she told me I was a pretty girl. It felt better than getting a million likes on a photograph on a public platform.  I do not care for the number of likes I get on a picture anymore, sadly many girls still do. It’s hard being a girl, so I can’t blame anyone for doing it because at one point I did too. It is frightening to hear about the high female suicide rates after Instagram became a hit-sensation.

Although, I find myself attractive now, I have never been the “prettiest girl,” in my class.  I was a modern-day Lilo from “Lilo and Stitch,” my eldest sister was Stitch, and my other sister was Nani for sure. I think Stitch is cute, so don’t take offense to that Saima. I would take pictures at the butterfly museum when I went on a field trip in elementary school. I still have a photo of that trip somewhere. S, one of my first childhood friends is in that photograph too. I would just take pictures of random things to clear my mind. In actuality, I was the first daughter to run away from home in my family. My two eldest sisters moved out before I attended college. One ran away to the sunny state of California and the other was a Nannie for a beautiful Jewish American family in a neighboring town.

When I was younger, I ran away from home because I never felt like I was enough for my parents. The feeling of not being good enough for someone will haunt you and make you wish you were never born. In the world we live in today, no one is good enough for anything anymore. The topic of discussion was always money. Regardless if we want to admit it or not, without wealth, the world could not and would not properly function. It is the current medium of exchange in the form of coins and banknotes.

The truth is, I ran away because I wanted to leave and never come back. I only made it about two miles away from my house before a couple of commendable police officers found me and brought me back. I am grateful for all the kind, giving, and caring police officers in the world. I am 100% sure that is why my parents are the most affectionate with me. I am my parent’s favorite daughter because I never completely abandoned them to start my own life.

My parents always compare me to my siblings and say that I am just like them. “I am a stubborn American girl.” Well, I am not an exact replicate of them; however, I do not mind the comparison anymore. They are wonderful, generous, and sincere females. Regardless, I am still my own person and I want people to remember me for being Sarish.

I am not asking for anyone to hand me money. If I were to ask anyone, I would ask someone charitable like Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah Winfrey, or Bill Gates. Obviously, even that is a long stretch. It’s not like I am asking them to fix all of my problems or anything. Please do not make assumptions. Just because I say, ” I want to be a billionaire, does not mean it will happen.” It’s just something fun to say. I would rather have more support than anything else. Right now, this looks like more like a blog, however I gradually want it to look like a website. I want to see if I can build the next social media platform. I would never invest $10,000-$20,000 in developing something that may never become a business or end up as anything special. Also, law school is an incredibly expensive endeavor that would not make sense.

When you invest more than $5,000-$10,000 in a startup costs, then you are assuming your hobby is a business. This is not a business. I am not making a profit. I did not even spend close to that much money. I did most of this myself. I’ve done almost everything myself and it will probably stay that way. Right now, this is just a fun past time for me.

Obviously, I am not going to be a “billionaire.” I am just trying to get attention. I may never be one. I could be one in 5-10 years. I don’t know everything and neither do you. You should not take this too seriously, this is just supposed to be something fun to read. It’s a blog. In all honesty, I love my life even though a great deal of it is sad. If I can get over how sad my life is then almost anyone else should be able to do the same.

The truth of the matter is, you can handle anything that is thrown in your direction. Trust me, I have overcome some serious battles and I never even stepped foot in a war zone. The strongest people are not those who show strength in the front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about. My parents have always taken good care of my siblings and myself. I hope to be as amazing as they are one day. I want them to have better lives though.

My brother has always been the center of their world and I cannot blame them. To blame is to assign responsibility for a fault or wrongdoing. He did not deserve to get sick at such a young age. It is no single individual’s fault. Fault is the responsibility for an accident or misfortune. Sadly, even the greatest doctors in the world cannot save every human being. Bad things happen to good people and I think he deserves every single good thing this world has to offer him.

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If someone could help me get in touch with Ellen DeGeneres, then I would be forever grateful. Other people do it all the time, I just do not understand how though? How is it possible? People of every walk of life do it the poor, middle class, and parents of baby geniuses. I am not asking her to solve all of my problems. That is an unrealistic expectation. I don’t care about being on television. I have no desire to have my life televised. Maybe, she could fix one problem for me? I am not asking her to buy me a mansion or anything. Maybe she can help my parents downsize? Or sell their house? Or move somewhere new? We have a nice house, however it’s too much for three sick people to maintain. Even if she did not respond, I still think it would be worth it. At least, I gave it a shot.

I love her show; I would say I am a fan of Finding Nemo; however, I watched it far too many times in my childhood. Now, I am scarred for life. “Just keep swimming.” Her backyard wedding was breathtaking. I watched a Oprah Winfrey episode on Portia’s struggle with anorexia. I cried. The world makes women hate themselves because of ridiculous expectations. She is hilarious and beautiful though. Everyone is a great judge in the world, women judge other women for how they look or worse as a girl, you are your own worst enemy when you look in a mirror.

I would love to be the next social media platform, it may never happen for me though. It is just a fun thought, I am not sure why that would bother anyone. I am not saying you cannot do what I am doing. You absolutely can. This may never be anything special. My life plan right now is to attend law school. I have been waiting for this moment my entire life. I’m excited, I just need one less problem before I go is all. It is such a rigorous academic program and I just do not want to have as many worries as I did in college. I am not asking anyone to pay for my education either. If I put myself in debt, then that is my personal decision and I take responsibility for it. What should I do to get her attention? Anyone with any suggestions? Maybe, I shouldn’t even try to get her attention.

For now, I would just love if people wanted to help in some shape or form. This is not a serious commitment by any means; you just click a few buttons or share a video if I make it. I want other people to find courage and share their stories too. If someone is passionate about anything in particular and wanted to be featured on my blog, then I would love to feature you. No one gets anywhere in the world alone. All you have to do is ask.

In regards to social media now, I used to count my likes and I realized how unsatisfied I was with myself. You are worth more than your likes. There is not enough Internet validation in the world for me anymore. If you spend your days counting likes because that is what makes you feel good about yourself, then what is wrong with that? I never said you were a bad person.

Every human being wants to feel wanted, desirable, and attractive in someone else’s eyes. If you feel good about yourself counting likes, then you absolutely should do it. That is what the society we live in values today anyways. Personally, I’ve learned to stop caring as much. It is such a temporary feeling of satisfaction.

Everyone in the world does not need to help me. I would love if you helped out of the kindness of your heart because I would do the same for anyone else. I want this to be a fun collaborative experience. I am going to make many mistakes along the way and so, I just want to apologize from the start. When I was looking through the earlier drafts of this one of my best friend’s pointed out how this did not sound right. It sounded angry, conceited, and depressed. That is not how I want anyone to perceive me. I must have channeled a side of myself that I did not even know existed. I am sure it was a defense mechanism because I never share this much of myself with anyone. There is nothing easy about putting your entire life online.

 I am not someone who thinks we are all going to sit around a campfire, singing Kum Ba Yah, and world peace will appear out of thin air. It is 2018; let us be honest with ourselves. I do not think in that manner. There is far too much animosity, hatred, and discrimination for that to happen anytime soon. Have you recently watched the news ? I try not to, otherwise I would stop leaving my house all together.

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One day, I was bored and I started researching billionaires and millionaires. That does not mean I think I am smarter or better than you. I do not. There are many people 100,000x smarter than I am. I can point them out to you. I was just curious and I just started reading about them. It just means I have big dreams for myself. I am not stopping anyone from pursuing the same path. It’s just a fun thought. It’s like waking up and saying, ” I feel like a million bucks.”

Of the 585 billionaires in the United States, 363 or 62% of them made their fortunes themselves. The truth of the matter is there is not a single person who is completely “self-made.” No one gets anywhere in this world alone. Unless you gave birth to yourself? If you created yourself without the help of your parents, then I would love to meet you. I am just being snarky, sorry I’ll be nice again.

I am writing this blog for my Mom because she has schizophrenia and I want her to be happy again. It’s something that is incredibly hard to talk about, so if you could be kind  and judgmental I would really appreciate it. It takes a great deal of strength for any human being to put their entire life on display, let alone a 25-year-old female. Although I am incredibly confident person and I’ve learned to stop caring about what others think of me, I am human and I still have my moments.

It is an emotional battle to stop caring how other perceive you. If it starts at a young age, then you learn more quickly than others do. For instance, in middle school, someone told me how, “ugly,” I was when I sat at a table with all of my Caucasian friends in the cafeteria. To be ugly one must be unpleasant or repulsive in appearance. The truth is, I was never truly “ugly,” I have just never been the social norm. On the other hand, perhaps, I was. I guess it depends on who was looking at me.  I was bullied during my childhood and now I don’t let anyone’s negativity affect me.

If you are part of the social norm, then you fit the rules of behavior accepted in a group or society.  If in your eyes, I am repulsive in my appearance; well then, what am I supposed to do about it? I cannot force anyone to find me aesthetically pleasing. Force is the strength or energy as an attribute of physical action or movement. I can live with myself knowing someone does not find me attractive. There are plenty of people in the world who do not think so and I am fine with it.There is more to life than being a pretty face. In one of those would you rather be attractive or smart situations, I would pick being smart any day. Sometimes, I say smart things and I also say stupid things. It is part of being a human being. I am not perfect.

Please note there is absolutely nothing wrong with being Caucasian. In any community that is primarily “white” it is difficult to fit in. You always stick out, whether you want to or not. Everyone I associate with has two eyes. I am not judging you, if you have one, two, or even if you are blind.  Sometimes, I wish the entire world would go blind, so you would easily find out who would or would not help you. Most people do not understand the law of attraction; allow me to explain to you.

Your attraction to any certain someone is more than physicality. It is more than “Look at the body or face on that attractive male or female.” It is less of a romantic enterprise and more of a primal instinct. It is in relation to an early stage in evolutionary development. It relates back to the caveman days. You know, one of those violent and uncivilized prehistoric men that lived in caves. I am not a cave dweller or anything, however, I do agree with the theory. Logic is the reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity. In regards to logic, this theory makes sense to me. If you do not agree with it, then that is fine too.

The Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. You use the power of your mind to translate whatever is in your thoughts and then you materialize them into reality. For instance, let us say we walked into a lounge, bar, and or restaurant. First, you see someone from across the room, you bump into that person, you smell him or her, and then all of a sudden…You put down a down payment on a house, a white picket fenced dream, and you end up asking yourself, “How did this happen?” This is the explanation for when you see a picture of a certain male or female. He or she may think that person is or is not attractive. How interesting is it to know that most people do not know how their own eyes work?

I am lucky I have two of them that fully function. My brother is partially blind, so I have a better understanding of how eyes function than others. When you lose one of your senses, the neurons in that area of your body do not actually die off. The human mind consists of six main areas; the frontal, parietal, occipital, temporal, limbic lobes, and the insular cortex. The visual and auditory cortex controls your senses of sight and hearing. Various scientists can confirm that blindness causes structural changes in your brain. This implies that your brain may reorganize its’ functionality in order to adapt to a loss in sensory inputs.

Personally, I find it offensive when someone says, “You are such a retard.” Rather you should say, “You are acting like an idiot.” Alternatively, almost anything else would sound better in ears. There is a high chance I would never lash out on someone about it because I am aware people do not know my life. However, it is a sensitive topic and it hits a few heartstrings.

If someone suffers from a congenital disorder, then you should try to understand he or she did not choose that life for his or herself. I spent a great deal of my childhood in cerebral palsy rehabilitation centers for my brother. Those who suffer from congenital disorders are human beings too. If anyone ever said anything terrible about him or made fun of him on a social media platform, then what am I supposed to do? You cannot stop everyone in the world from having an exaggerated sense of one’s one importance. You do you, while I go do me. My brother is still the most handsome person in my world. He is the love of my life; I have an intense feeling of deep affection for him.

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Dr. Helen Fisher has done various Ted Talks on, “The Anatomy of Love,” and it is still a difficult concept to understand. I am not one of those girls who have a prince-charming fairy-tale mindset about it. I am not offended if you do. My parents never raised my siblings and I to think in that manner. It just is not a Pakistani cultural norm is all.  Anyways, let us say we are in a room with ten equally attractive men and women. Why does one particular person stand out over another? I honestly do not know. It is interesting. Everyone has different tastes, some people like apples, and others like oranges. You could be the greatest peach in the world, and you will still find someone who does not like peaches. Get yourself a bag of grapes and call it a day!

You do not need “everyone” in the world to think you are attractive. There are about one million ways to be an attractive girl. If I think a girl is pretty, then I have no problem admitting it to anyone. “I think you are pretty.” Emily Ratajkowsi, Penelope Cruz, Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Shanina Shaik, Eva Longoria, Emilia Clarke, Aishwarya Rai, Priyanka Chopra, Jennifer Lawrence, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Shakira, Kerry Washington, and Sonam Kapoor are all so beautiful!

In current time, the population of the world is close to 7.5 billion people. That is quite the bar you are setting for yourself. As long as you know you are attractive, then that is all that matters. Sometimes, I leave my house looking like a hobo and I could care less if I look ugly. If I want to look like a slob, then I will. Once you learn to live caring less of what people think of you the happier you will be with yourself. If I think I am a pretty girl, then why does it matter? Honestly, why is that such a terrible thing to say outloud?

I am sure Tina Fey would tell me that I am a mean girl now. I have not always felt this way. God forbid any human being feel good about themself anymore. I feel just as good about myself when I have no makeup on as I do with all the makeup in the world on. I love being confident. Every girl should learn to be confident in herself. You should be absolutely love yourself.

Everyone has days when one feels unattractive or attractive, do not be hard on yourself. Sometimes, I feel unattractive, useless, and ugly, that does not mean that is who I am.  You do not “need” to wear all the makeup in the world to be beautiful. Men love girls who are comfortable in their own skin. You should take off all the makeup on your skin, clear your pores, look in the mirror, and smile at yourself.

Stop using apps to make yourself look perfect. You are already beautiful. I tried them once and I am ashamed of myself for falling into that trap. Bad move Sarish, lesson learned. I forgot who I was for the longest time, and I will never let anyone put me down again. I’ll never understand why girls have to be catty. If you want to understand how we bred women in the world today, then I will gladly provide an explanation.

In the garden of life, when I was a weed, the girls who were always sunflowers were probably only told they were pretty. When attractiveness is the only asset in your portfolio, people like to make you feel bad about yourself or better yet, tell you that you are only good for one thing. In the girl world, there are two kinds of pretty girls. Exhibit A) the ones that are nice to almost anyone this is how I would describe my friends. Exhibit B) these girls are incredibly kind to attractive men, their girlfriends, and are intimidated by other pretty girls. If a pretty girl is not necessarily smart and has never truly had to work hard to get anything, then I am not sure why you would not expect that attitude in other endeavors she may or may not pursue. I am just not sure. That is not meant to sound rude in any way shape or form. I just sincerely do not understand.

Any other girl could do what I am doing right now. I am not the chosen one. I am not the prettiest, smartest, or most desirable girl in the world.  I just have more of a reason to pursue this idea than other women do. I just want my family to have a better life. What’s wrong with that? I am not malicious or envious of other girls. Another woman’s attractiveness does not mean you are any less attractive. If you are envious of anyone, then there is a high chance you are just comparing yourself to that person. You should never compare yourself to anyone, you are your own person.

Then again, if girls want to act like everything is a competition, what am I supposed to do? What is life without a little competition? Sports, pageants, and school rankings would not exist. I do not need to compete with other women. I truly do not care. My focus is not on getting a husband right now. If I want anything, then I just go get it. I would love to have many women support this idea. You can decide for yourself what you want to do. I do not need every woman in the world to unite, hold hands, and sing songs with me. I am not sure what you may think this is? People allow their thoughts to get the best of them and jump to wild conclusions. In the modern world, about 4.4 billion people do not have access to the Internet. I could not reach them even if I wanted to do so. I want my Mom to feel amazing about being alive again. That’s all.

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Ironically, many do not believe that, I face discrimination because “I am some pretty and wealthy diva.” That is a false accusation; there is insufficient supporting evidence to determine whether an accusation is true or false. Why would anyone think I am wealthy? Do I have an abundance of valuable possessions or money? I purchased myself one designer handbag; I must be a millionaire, right? If someone dresses well, then how is anyone truly sure he or she has any money? Many wealthy people are incredibly frugal and do not wear their money.

I could be sitting in $25,000 of credit card debit and pretending to be someone I am not. I could secretly be one of those hot Instagram models that take photos in my Christian Louboutins, Coco Chanel handbags, and showing off my lavish lifestyle. Do not get me wrong; many of those girls are wealthy, however many of them are not too. Do you pay my credit card bills? Do you see my direct deposit wire transfers? What truly defines a diva? In regards to the standards of federal employment, you cannot have excessive credit card debt. I am 25 years old and I purposely chose to work in the public sector. I am by no means “wealthy.” Maybe, I will be after law school? Even then, it is hard to say what will happen in the future.

I recently got a new job, yet it is important to note that many federal employees do not make six figures. I am not making a federal attorney salary. The federal government collects taxes to finance various public services. They pay for social security, Medicare, Medicaid, CHIP, and marketplace subsidies. It was the greatest feeling working for one of the biggest law firms in the state of Massachusetts. I worked with some of the most ethical and commendable people. The Civil Rights team fights against all kinds of discrimination. I love seeing the good they do.

I know many people do not know, so I think it is important to discuss. I face bigotry every day of my life and the setting you place me in does not matter. If anyone ever tries to make you feel bad about yourself, then all you have to say is, “Why are you trying to make me feel bad about myself?” Case closed. That person will have to think about what one just did and will say, “No, I am not.” Then, one will realize what one just did. Do not allow anyone to make you feel like you are worthless. I find value in almost every person I encounter; we all have good and bad qualities that lie within us. Do not allow anyone to tell you who you are.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines discrimination as, “the judicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex.” I can even count the ways for you. I will tell you exact periods of times and I am sure many other minorities can do the same. This is just a reference point for others to understand what discrimination feels like. It does not matter if I am a sweet person, a racist person will still be racist. Your mind remembers the good and the bad because there are feelings associated to every action.

In terms of physics, Newton was right. Every action does have an opposite and equal reaction. Everything you do in life has an effect on someone else, whether you see it or not. I had a friend on a flight from Baltimore to Boston send me that reminder. Her name began with a D, she lives in Utah, and her husband is a principal. She went to Harvard Medical School and she is an obstetrician gynecologist. She accidentally dropped her water bottle on my lap. I just laughed; it felt like I was meeting another version of myself. It was a pleasure to meet and talk to her on the airplane. She truly did change my life that day. She even said we were twins and I think she was right.

After the great tragedy of 9/11, I realized just how difficult it would be to live as a Pakistani-Muslim female. I would never wish it upon anyone. I would not even wish it upon my enemies. Every human knows of a person who is actively opposed or hostile towards someone or something. If you have enemies that means, then you have stood up for something at some point in your life. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, but to love our enemies.

In my eyes, that means you never; know who is your friend or foe. In criminal law, intent is one of the three general classes of mens rea necessary to constitute a conventional, as opposed to strict liability crime. You never truly know what someone’s intentions are when he or she is talking to you. I can promise you my intentions with this blog are pure. You should read my autobiography from start to finish and then you can determine whether or not you trust me. Trust is the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. It’s fine if you don’t.

My family and I are first-generation immigrants to this country, we have done everything the legal way, and I am still viewed as an illegal immigrant. Am I contrary to or forbidden by law, especially criminal law? I was born and raised in the United States.  When anyone speaks down upon Pakistani-Muslim men, you are talking about my father, brother, uncles, and cousins. You are speaking poorly about Muslims and I am Muslim. You do not even know who I am.

You may or may not have met me before, but I would love to know what you know about Islam? If I am an Islamic martyr, then I am must be promised 72 virgins. What else classifies a Muslim? Am I supposed to speak Arabic fluently? Have you ever been to Masjid al-Haram? What color skin should I have? How can you tell a Muslim man apart from a Christian or a Jewish one? What does a terrorist look like? Should I be carrying a bomb in my hand?

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After the bombings in Paris people said things like, “If I were there and I had a gun, then I would have just shot the bomber.” What? How are you going to save the day? How? I just do not understand. This terrorist would not have a backup bomb or weapon.  He or she is not working with more than one person to execute this mission. Since it is that simple, let us just pretend I am Liam Neeson get a gun, shoot the terrorist, and then everything will be okay. What fantasy world are we living in? Narnia, Wonderland, the Land of Oz, or the Wizarding World?

Each criminal already has a serious psychological disorder. Terrorists are incredibly calculated, manipulative, and ruthless in their attacks. They plot things years in advance to execute their operation with ease. I am not a terrorist; however, I have seen proof of them in cases at work. We have a terrorism unit in the office. I saw the worst side of every occupation day in and day out at work. I am not a terrorist and I never would be one. I have no desire to bomb a city or kill innocent people.

When I walk outside, I have Caucasian adults and their children look at me as if I killed their entire family. I feel like these people must believe everything they hear on the news. One particular security officer at work constantly gave me a hard time. I understand if you are doing your job, however I am not a fan of your approach. You look at me, as if I am a criminal. What crime did I commit? I am not sure myself. I was an employee for the federal government. I am a United States citizen. If I committed a felony, then I would not had that job. What did I ever do to deserve such disrespect; the lack of respect or courtesy? I am a little girl; I had the lowest security clearance, and title in that office.

The world does not owe me anything. There are days when I wake up and strongly dislike many people. People are so rude, arrogant, and disrespectful. I would rather be alone on a deserted island or volunteer as tribute to NASA. I have never done anything to you. Why do you look angry when you see me? In all honesty, I just do not understand. Why? Is it because I have tan skin, my Muslim name, or fashion-sense? I am just going to let it be. I have no problem not acknowledging someone’s existence; I have done it my entire life. People do the same when I walk in a room and I am not bothered by it.

I sincerely do not want to know anyone who thinks I am some “Muslim-extremist.” I am not at fault for the Boston Bombing, San Bernardino shooting, or any “Islamic Terrorism.” Fault is the responsibility for an accident or misfortune. I do not take responsibility for others’ actions. Do you take responsible for people whom you do not know or care for? I did not collaborate with those “Muslims.” If I am at fault for every single Islamic terrorist attack, then I want every Caucasian male to take responsibility for white-collar crimes that take place. Is that a fair evaluation? I do not think so. That was a stereotype.

A stereotype is a cognitive shortcut that allows your brain to make snap judgments based on immediately visible characteristics such as gender, race, or age. I can promise you, I have grown to be less judgmental over the years. That is not to say that, I do not pass judgment or make false accusations about others. I am a human being, we all do that, and we all make mistakes. If I am wrong or make a mistake, then I have no problem admitting to my faults. I am wrong. I make mistakes. I say stupid things.

I am not right about everything. I do not know everything. I am not Google. I cannot speak for every other human being though. If I am wrong about something, then I learn something new. It is always entertaining to see someone else worked up about something, realize one is wrong, and then not want to admit to the error of one’s ways. Rather this person just spent a fifteen minutes yelling at you about something one does not entirely understand. Why is everyone so angry?

Some people are just irrational, illogical, and downright ignorant. Ignorance is the lack of knowledge or awareness in general uneducated or unsophisticated. Please do not put words in my mouth. If you think I am this or that, it is because that is how your mind works. That is how your brain functions, not mine. I am not Harry Potter. I am not a wizard; I cannot control how other people think. My perception of reality is vastly different from others. Perception is the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. The truth of the matter is you may or may not have the greatest understanding of emotional intelligence. It is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships with judiciousness and empathy.

I am a calm and rational person. I rarely have to yell at someone when I am discussing my opinion. I am an incredibly difficult person to make upset, however it does happen. I am a human being. If you are constantly upset about every single little detail in your life, then you will struggle to progress further. To struggle is to make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction. Why is everyone mad about everything all the time? I have one of the harder lives and you do not see my screaming, crying, and yelling about it every second of every day. I absolutely do cry about it behind closed doors; yet, I try to keep my emotions to myself. Attorneys usually are not emotional when they step into a courthouse, client’s office, or their own. So, I am learning to be less emotional. There is nothing wrong with complaining about how hard life is, we all do it. I just do not care to be around someone who is negative about everything.

Anyways, back to my story about work, many of the other security officers are the friendliest, kindest, and most wonderful people. Honestly, I have nothing against you; I am just going to stay away from you. I would not be bothered if you completely ignored my existence. I try not to think about people who disrespect me.

The truth is it is difficult to wake up every day having children and adults give you dirty looks for no reason. Honestly, life is not as bad if you are one of the “desirables” in society. If someone finds you attractive, then you can easily have anything you want, and people will give it to you free of cost. Now that I am considered “attractive” more people are kinder to me, however many are still xenophobic. That’s just dumb. Being attractive does not necessarily mean that person is a “good” person.

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In actuality, life is harder being a Muslim man who has tan skin, bushy eyebrows, and facial hair; someone with a Muslim name that cannot hide behind a name like, “Jack” because his name is “Hussein” or “Mohammad.” I promise you, ask any human being with a skin color that is not white, whether or not anyone has ever said anything, “racially provocative” to them and every single person of color would raise their hand. I have no doubt in my mind that every single one of them would raise their hands. I am sure if we asked the former President Barack Obama if he ever-experienced discrimination, then he would too. Although, I was not a fan of everything he did during his presidency. I do not like everything any human being or president does. I have the greatest respect for him though. I wish I could have met him and his family while he was in office.

Unfortunately, many have become disgustingly xenophobic, rude, and disrespectful. I have Hispanics and African-Americans roll their eyes at me in Shake Shack. I have middle-aged Caucasian males on American Airline flights give me attitude for standing in the bathroom aisle. Attitude a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, this typically reflects in a person’s behavior. I was standing to use the bathroom. What did I do wrong? Why is everything I do considered wrong? I should ask someone to send me an instruction manual or something.

If someone says that, “You have an attitude.” They generally think of someone with a negative outlook on a particular topic, thing, or person. I absolutely have an attitude and will give it to someone who is being rude to me. I do not need anyone to give me his or her attitude, like every other human being, I already have my own. Apparently, my carbon footprint was too large, and I took up far too much space in the aisle. You are slightly overweight, rude, and just picked on a petite brown girl. I say I am brown because I like my skin color. Although many Pakistani-Muslim girls would rather bleach their skin to look white, I would never do that to myself. That concept is heartbreaking. You should be proud of yourself regardless of your skin color. You should love the skin you are in.

Luckily, I do not even need to waste time tanning on beaches. As the beautiful Beyoncé once said, “I woke up like this.” I did. I did not choose the brown life, it choose me. There are bigger problems in this world. If I ever give anyone, an attitude there is a reason for it and one probably deserves it. Reason is a cause, explanation, or justification for an action or event.To deserve something is to have or show qualities worthy of reward or punishment. If you are worthy of something, then you have or show the qualities or abilities that merit recognition in a specified way. I promise you that man was worthy of my attitude.

R, one of my closest childhood friends is a flight attendant for American Airlines. If I was on a flight with her, then I know nothing of that nature would ever happen. I purposely was rude to that flight attendant and I would not apologize for it. I rarely get an apology when any random rude stranger hurts my feelings, I am fine with it. I can justify my attitude about 98% of the time; the other 2% shows you that I am only human. Every person has an attitude, I was not the only one born with one.

Kanye West is a prime example of someone who loses his temper when the cameras are rolling around. Honestly, I do not blame him. There is a high chance that individual is invading his personal space. The physical space immediately surrounding someone, into which any encroachment feels threatening to or uncomfortable for him or her. Celebrities are human beings too. Although they live in the public eye, they are entitled to living their lives in privacy. It is the state of being free from observation or disturbance by other people.

In regards to my flight from Madrid to Boston, I was surprised to discover that the staff members were not gracious stewards. In fact, they were unmannerly to my friends and I. The term unmannerly means not showing or showing good manners. I would expect more courtesy out of American Airlines. The immigration officer yelled at me for looking at my phone when I approached him. I was trying to show you my boarding pass. I apologize; I did not know you do not check boarding passes. I do not work in an airport. How am I supposed to know what your occupation does or does not entail? I do not know every detail of every job in the world. You do not need to scold me.

Why are remonstrating with anger? You do not need to tell me to get off my phone. I am not a 13-year-old girl, although I may look that young. I am not. In actuality, I am a 25-year-old female and you should learn to relax. I am sure your life is hard. It is hard for every human being to get up and breath. In the words of Boy Meets World, “Life is hard, you should get a helmet.” I would expect more courtesy with the number of lawsuits happening every day. This must be one of those expectations versus reality scenarios. I suppose that is asking for too much.

It is okay; we do not need to chat, I would rather fly another airline. However, you have cheap flights, so I may continue to fly on your planes and only hope for better service. The one good thing about that flight was that I spoke to the woman next to me for a good eight hours. She knows my entire life and I know hers now too. Her son goes to school with J, a friend I met through A, and she attended USC Gould Law of School.

In the past, I have absolutely been a judgmental person. It has taken about twenty-five years of my life to learn not to judge someone else. Unintentionally, I may still judge someone. It is a learning experience to say the least. To judge is the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions. We live in a world that has thousands of judges who never attended law school. How did that happen? Honestly, I think it is remarkable. Those individuals should give themselves a round of applause for being omniscient, righteous, and perfect people. I have other Muslims judge me for not covering my head too. If I ever decided to become a “Hijabi” I can promise you, it would be for myself. It is not for my mother-in-law, my mother, or my husband.

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Did they take the bar exam in the state of California? Did you know you could sit to take the test without attending law school? It has one of the lowest passing bar rates for that reason. It is evident that not every individual who sits is qualified to take on the role as an attorney. I feel like I have been a lawyer my entire life. I wish everyone could feel this passionate about something. Passion is expressing, showing, or marked by intense or strong feeling.

Throughout my life, friends and family members have said less than pleasant things about how my siblings and I choose to live our lives. “I would never want my daughter to be like you.” Well, I would not want my daughter to be me either. When I procreate, my daughter will be her own person with her own thoughts and aspirations. How are my siblings and I influencing your life? Influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. My sisters and I are humble, generous, and good people. I will never understand nosy individuals, who show too much curiosity about other people’s affairs. If that is how you wish to live your life, then that your problem and not mine. I will just mind my own business.

Furthermore, I would like to continue that discussion on discrimination to prove my point that it can happen to anyone. Please do not interpret this as complaining, whining, or disparity. Well, you can interpret in any way you wish; I am not going to stop you. I am just telling you my life story; every good attorney is a storyteller. You do not need to read this if you are not interested. You can stop at anyone point. This is a reference for everyone to understand that bad things happen to every human being. You can determine whether you think I am a good person.

I am aware that it is difficult for Caucasians to understand what it feels like to be a minority. When you are a minority, you are the smaller number or part, especially a number that is less than half the whole number. People treat you as if you are less of a person. I forgot I was a smart girl because I let other individual’s jealousy, hatred, and a series of unfortunate events to control my thoughts. Learn to control your thoughts and do not let them control you.

My family and I come from humble beginnings. We do everything the right way. My parents and I do not embrace the same lifestyle; they live far below their means. I can promise you, the finer things in life do not impress them. They do not waste money on luxury cars, expensive possessions, or high-end dinners. If I ever buy them expensive goods, then they tell me it is a waste of money and advise me to return it. In high school, some random stranger tried to rob my house. I live in a quiet and quaint suburb. He attempted to lock my mother in the bathroom; I chased him out the door, jumped on him, and stole his bicycle. “Stole your hunny like I stole your bike.”

Clearly, he was not a mastermind by any means. What would you steal from them? Do you need a wheelchair? There is a significant difference between frugality and cheapness; one is the quality of being economical with money or food, and the other is low in price, worth more than its cost. The cost-benefit analysis of purchasing cheap shoes, food, and clothing is not economically beneficial in my eyes. I would rather spend a little more money on something that would last longer than a year. If you enjoy purchasing cheap goods, then there is nothing wrong with that lifestyle. I would rather have a few expensive things, then one hundred cheap things. It’s just personal preference. I want my family members to have better lives for themselves, so I can start my own. I want my own freedom and one of the only ways to do it is to help them now.

Income is money received, especially on a regular basis, for work or through investments. My parents use most of their income towards medical expenses for my mother, father, and brother. I never said I was “poor,” I am just saying they deserve a better life. When one precious little boy in your family becomes ill, then it influences your parents in ways you could not imagine. I would never exploit them and show you how they truly live their lives.

When you do not have a light, white, and “non-desirable” skin color people treat you like a second-class citizen. I want to help you understand how that feels. I will start with an example of mental wellness. After my brother grew ill with cerebral palsy, my Mom lost her perception of reality. It is heartbreaking for her to see other children’s sons go to play sports, go to prom, or have friends because hers will never have those things. When I was younger, my mom never wanted me to go outside and make friends for that reason.

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Schizophrenia is a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings. You have feelings of withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy, delusion, and fragmentation. She is not a dangerous person; she never even wants to leave the house.

People look at mental illness as if everyone who has an illness is dangerous to society. That is not necessarily true. It depends on the person and the illness. In the case of my mom, she would never hurt a fly. I notice many of the logical fallacies when she speaks. When I sit down and talk to her, she tells me, “Sarish, I am just waiting to pass away.” Death, the action or fact of dying or being killed the end of the life of a person or organism should not be an aspiration. I want her to remember why life is worth living again.

The book and film “A Beautiful Mind,” is one of my favorite publications because I have a visual depiction of her reality.  If there was a possibility that this launched into something great, then I would want her to take far less medication than she does now. I want to cure her the natural way; you can send her cards, emails, or nice pictures. Maybe, I will set up a P.O. box for her? I do not expect everyone to do that my friends probably would do it though. Even one or two cards is better than nothing. She is already starting to feel better, I bought her some nice clothing, and got her hair colored at one of my favorite salons.

In the west, my parents live in a 1950’s well-built Victorian home; however, it is too expensive for them to continue to maintain. I once loved it and now it is just an endless burden in my life. Everything is falling apart, I am that Meme of the Dog in a burning house and he is trying to stay calm. The world is on fire and I am a firefighter running around back and forth. Help, I need water! I literally feel like Tim Allen in Home Improvement.

Evidently, I cannot fix every single human being’s problems. I will never say that I can do that much. I am not Wonder Woman. I am not some superhero. I am an incredibly prideful person, and I hate asking anyone to help me. I would rather solve my problems by myself than ask someone else. It is a personal preference and that should not offend anyone. However, I am willing to put my pride aside and make this public information. I just want my Mom to be happy about her life again. She deserves the best of the best. I have already visited my primary care physician and neurologist, luckily I do not have this mental illness and I hope I never get it.

In all honesty, there are days when I cannot bear to look my family. It is hard to look at three incredible human beings not rise up in society. They spend almost all of their income to improve their physical and mental health. You cannot pity yourself though; my parents do not, so I cannot either. I find it funny that they would rather save money and buy cheap snacks then eat the organic, nutritious, and expensive foods from Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods.

Do not get me wrong; they do eat healthy food too. It just does not make sense to me. You say one thing and then you do another. I just do not understand. That does not sound like an upper-class lifestyle to me. I sincerely do not think so; it is more of an oxymoron. I could never be a doctor, pharmacist, or any medical professional. Every day of my life feels like I am walking into a hospital or a pharmacy. When I was in college, this is how I felt too. This is probably why drugs do not appeal to me either. In one of those would you rather situations, I do not know which is worse. Would you rather wake up every day having three people you care for most slowly wither away in front of you or have them pass in a quick and immediate manner? I find the former more difficult to bear.

In middle school, my father purchased our first house in a neighboring town. The American Dream is to own property, however that did not last long. Soon after we moved a few boxes in the house, someone stoned one of our windows. Those individuals did not want to live next to a family of Pakistani-Muslim Americans. I must be a terrorist, right? I am the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims. I am not doing anything unlawful.

In actuality, I am expressing the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, which prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, ensuring that there is no prohibition on the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, in infringing on the freedom of the press. If any human being tried to arrest me, then you should know I have about five federal attorneys who would bail me out in a second. I only say that because you truly never know what could happen.

Anyways, he decided to sell that house and waited to buy another one.  Dad, I’ll buy you a house one day. You are the only person in my life who always supports me and tells me how proud you are to have me as your daughter. It is an honor. Thank you for not disowning me yet for my ridiculous antics. I like my foolish, outrageous, and amusing behavior. Some say I am a fun person to be around, sometimes I am. You can be the judge. I am not a lawyer yet.

Sometimes, it feels like the world is stomping on my chest. Everyone is trying to shatter my heart soul into a million pieces. It feels like the world is a person. I am a cup that is constantly being used, made dirty, and cleaned in a dishwasher. It is strange to acknowledge the fact that many people want to see me crack. Why would anyone be jealous of me? No would should be jealous of anyone. I am not that great. Focus on yourself. I rarely compare myself to other people anymore or let anyone see me struggle. It is a personal preference. I know of some spiteful people who find pleasure in seeing my world fall apart. I am not sure why. I have already fallen about 10,000 times, and I know how to pick myself up again. I have done it before and I will do it again. I feel like it happens to everyone. I guess that is life in a nutshell for you.

Luckily, I have built quite the empire for myself, so if anyone brought me down there would be about 20 people ready to shoot fire for me. You would not have any idea where that bullet came from; was it from the Gen Z, Gen Y, baby boomers, Millennials, or “Generation X?” Muslims, Jews, Christians, atheists? I am not sure, sometimes I do not even know. The only difference between the average human and myself is that I have more resilience, the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. It is toughness. You just need to grow thicker skin; you probably have not had as many people put you down in your life. I am not saying I have the hardest life in the entire world. I am sure others have harder lives. It’s just a hard life in general.

I am grateful for everyone in my army; I would not be anything without them. I have friendships that have lasted 13+ years for good reason. We have built our strongest friendships after years of text messages, group chats, birthdays, study sessions, and everything you can imagine. It is the greatest feeling, I am lucky to have lived in one state my entire life. I wish everyone had the friendships I do.

sealsPersonally, I have never been in the armed forces; however, I have the greatest respect for all of those who have put their lives on the line on behalf of others. I know many admirable veterans who worked with me, live in the streets, and dated some of my closest friends. My roommate’s mom was a high-ranked Muslim American female who put her life on the line for this country. R, my friend did it too! Most of the people in the federal government are Veterans including the security officers, coworkers, and I am sure at least one attorney was too.

Fun fact for all of those who were wondering, the federal government hires veterans over the average American, as it should be. Every veteran who puts his or her life on the line deserves to come back to the land of the free and home of the brave. Regardless of race, religion, sexuality, and ableism they should each come home to a life of certainty. I would much rather spend my tax dollars on helping the veterans with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and those that come home to a life of uncertainty. I have no problem feeding a genuinely good veteran who is looking for a job, meal, shower, and a place to stay.

Obviously, I cannot help every single of one them, however I try to help as many as I can when I see them lying in the streets. I do not have enough money to help every human being. Maybe one day, I’ll play off of Brian Chesky’s idea of Airbnb.  Probably not though. He started out his business with an air mattress. That is what the Air in “AirBnB” stands for in case you were curious and the “BnB’ stands for bed n’ breakfast. I am only generous because my parents bred me to be this kind of girl. I am sure your parents did too.

In regards to soldiers, I lose respect for are the ones that rape, pillage, and kill innocent people. To lose is to fail to keep, preserve, or maintain. I myself and no other sane human being would respect or tolerate that kind of behavior, however I know it happens. I see it with my own eyes when I visit. I may not wear camouflage everyday, yet I know how to blend into my surroundings. I would never tell someone he or she could not drink. I sincerely feel bad for anyone who feels the need to drink his or her sorrows away to a point of no return. You should absolutely do whatever it takes to clear your mind, when you are far away from the people you love. We all cope with our problems differently.

Maybe, the problem with the world is not that people are good or bad. The problem is that no one cares about anyone anymore. Selfishness; is the root of every sin; you are devoted to or caring only for oneself; you are concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, and welfare. What am I supposed to do about it? I cannot do anything. It is has nothing to do with your nationality, and everything to do with your psychological processes. Clearly, I do not understand everything about being in the armed forces and I would never say I do. Wars change people and their perspective of humanity.

Some Americans say, “If you do not like this country, how we live, well then you should leave.” Alright, well if you are in a strict Islamic country like Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, or Pakistan, why would you not you do the same? Why would you not you want to blend in and live like the Natives? I am not telling you what to do. I am simply asking you a question. I do not understand your logical reason. If you do not want to, then you do not need to do it. All those innocent men, women, and children have nothing to do with the wars. Most of the time, men are the ones that have created wars in this world. Personally, I am not a fan of going to war, however I am not going to tell anyone how to run this country.

I am not the President. I am not the Commander-in-Chief. I am literally just a girl. In my eyes, wars do not solve problems they only create bigger ones and you have every right to disagree with me. I am not arguing with anyone. Innocent human beings homes become wastelands due to imperialism, democracy, and capitalism. It does not matter to most people because they do not live there, why should they care? Why would it matter them? The answer is it wouldn’t. That’s what’s wrong with humanity.

My family does live in Pakistan, so I clearly care more than others do. I have friends whose families live in Palestine, Israel, Lebanon, and Egypt. The one thing human beings are good at doing is going to war against each other. It happens repeatedly. The decade or period does not matter. It is a pattern throughout all of history. We all have history, some of us continue to cycle into the same patterns.

In case you ever wanted to know how “Islamic terrorism” is breed, then imagine yourself in an Assassin’s Creed situation. A terrorist just blew up your home, belongings, and killed your entire family; their ultimatum is either you come with me or I kill you? What would you do in that situation? I know what I would do. I would rather peacefully pass away. I do not know what anyone did to deserve his or her lives over anyone who is escaping war, persecution, or a natural disaster. I did not do anything to deserve the life I was given. What did you do to deserve your life? In regards to Islam, my parents taught me to look at those that have less than you and be grateful. Someone will always have more than you do. You should only strive to be a better person.

I am not someone who walks around and thinks, “she’s better” than everyone. I do not care about being better than anyone else. I know who I am; I do not feel the need to brag about it. If anyone “thinks” that about who I am, it is because you created that thought with your own mind. I am honestly just more rational, logical, and analytical than others. I find value in every opinion. Not all opinions are valid or equal though. That is a fact. If you want to know what it feels like to be in a conservative Islamic country, then I can easily tell you because my family is from Pakistan. I am incredibly proud to call myself a “Paki-girl.” Although “Paki” may be an offensive term to others, it is not offensive to me. In my mind, it’s a cute abbreviation used to shorten the word “Pakistan.”

I have been face to face with the Taliban, they are freedom fighters; people who take part in a violent struggle to achieve a political goal in hopes of overthrowing their government. They are soldiers who are fighting for what they believe in. I do not affiliate with people who want to overthrow the government. I am a peaceful person. I met a seven-year-old girl who worked in the home I was staying in a more conservative region. She had the most beautiful green eyes, olive skin, and dark brown hair. Her entire family worked in this house; she cleans, and cooks for this family. Imagine one of those little baby Barbie dolls, she is a spitting image of a doll; her eyes were as green as the Mountains of Swat, the Switzerland of Pakistan.

I have never met such a sweet and innocent girl. She just wanted to be young and play with the other kids. Anytime, I saw one of the boys or girls I knew being rude to her, I would immediately yell at them. If they did not want to play with her, then I would because she deserves to know what it feels like to be a child. She did not do anything to deserve the life she was given. M was only seven-years-old and was fired from that house for not doing her job well enough. “You’re fired!” I miss her every day and wish I could see her again, she even asked me for a picture of myself before I returned to America. She looked at me as if I was the reason the sun shines in the morning. My name is Sarish; it means “morning” so, I suppose that analogy makes perfect sense.

I wish I could be as great of a humanitarian as Angelina Jolie. I would legally bring that little bundle of joy over the border. I would legally adopt her, bring her home, and give her the life she deserves. Every child on this planet deserves to have a good life; unfortunately, that is not the case. That is not how the world works. I wish I could be as admirable as Amal Clooney, a woman that specializes in international law and human rights. Hold the phone, Angelina; I do not care about that, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt “drama.” Each of you is an unbelievably talented human being who makes life worth living. You make every day a little easier for me to breathe and wake up again.

Many people do not know anything about Pakistan; so allow me to be your history teacher. “Please take a seat.” I am the type of person who likes to announce bad news first, and then turn it into good news. I will start with the bad, in many third world countries, especially in Asia social mobility is an unknown concept. In the third world, either you are born into poverty or you are not. It is a common practice on the continent of Asia to have drivers, cooks, and house cleaners work for your family. It creates job security in an economy with a low life expectancy, gross domestic product, and consummation.

Child labor laws do not exist in these countries. Pakistan is not a country that is strictly sharia law rather it is the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Apparently, Google claims that, “It is a parliamentary republic in South Asia on the crossroads of Central and Western Asia.” That sounds right to me. Thank you, Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Sundar Pichai. Although many assume Pakistan is in the Middle East, I can promise you as of June 14, 2017 at 7:21pm it is not. As long as I have been alive, it is and has been South Asia. The Middle East includes countries such as, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, Iraq, Iran, and Kuwait. It is a member of the South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation.

I honestly do not understand why a “Middle Eastern” country would join a “geopolitical union of nations in South Asia” if it were not affiliated in that region of the world. Truthfully, I do not understand that logic. I am not trying to pick fun at anyone in particular. With that kind of logic, I might as well say that, I am going to go join an all-black sorority. I should just pretend I am an African-American. Obviously, I am not. I just told you, I am Pakistani. Did anything I just say in the last two sentences make sense? I do not think it made any sense, however that is how some people sound when they speak.

Many always “hate” on my parents homeland, I am not sure why though. Most people have never been there. Have you been there? Neither my culture nor religion says, “Let’s go out, rape, and kill innocent women.” Rape, child pornography, and sex trafficking are not affiliated with any particular race or religion. I am desensitized to many things, however I still find that hard to bear. If anyone tried to do any of those things to anyone I cared about, then I don’t even know what I would do. I feel filthy just talking about it. I need to go shower. Some people are dark, sick, and twisted individuals. If the one and only way you pick up girls is by getting them blackout drunk, then you probably did not have much game to begin with. I am sorry if I think consent is sexy.

I digress, crimes are unlawful acts committed by individuals who psychologically, emotionally, and verbally abuse others. Based on that definition, I suppose you could call everyone I have ever met a “criminal” in some shape of form. They exist in every occupation. White-collar ones often are not necessarily “good” examples of white-privilege. Corporate greed, selfishness and acquiring massive amounts of currency gets to your head. With that mindset, the stock market will crash and giant accounting scandals like Enron and WorldCom hit every economy in the world. Whichever way you put it, you still get to meet me, and so, we can do this the hard way or the right way. Who knows maybe I will be your attorney one day or maybe I won’t.

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Photo by Christine Roy on Unsplash

In the end, we are one globe, when one of us falls down, then we all fall down together. I just want to see what our world can look like if we stand together for something good and moral. I do not have some great expectations that something will absolutely happen in the near future. I am short, so I want to feel tall for once. At times, we can be the United Nations or the United States of immigrants. We are Americans, Whites, Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics. I just want my Mom to be hopeful, happy, and optimistic again. That’s all.

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