Chapter 4: Love and Other Drugs like Islam.

Optimized-islam_muslims_praying_banner_7-31-16-1.sized-770x415xc (1)

I am well aware that many individuals know absolutely nothing about Islam. If you want to hear my interpretation, then here it is for you. Similarly, to Christianity and Judaism, it is a monotheistic faith and Muhammad (swt) is the Last Prophet of Allah. I have two sisters, one is more religious, the other is more liberal, and I would say I am moderate. Many Muslims would not classify me as one of them, however I see no problem with that mindset. You are entitled to your opinion, it is a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. You can tell me what is fact or fiction in my description of my religion. Bismillahilladhi la yadurru ma’ ismihi shai’un fil-ardi wa-laa fissamaa’i wa huwa al-Samee’u al-‘Aleem.

The liberal one has never truly felt accepted by her parents, religion, or the world. Acceptance is the awareness of the present moment without judgment. When I was younger, it felt like she would rather turn to the Jewish community. Maybe, I am wrong though? I do not know. I want her to feel that way everywhere she goes. I am genuinely happy for her. You should associate with any community that shows you acceptance. The Islamic and Christian community would accept you too. The saddest thing about religion is the fact that people turn away from it when conservatives, moderates, and liberals pass judgement.

My sister is always welcome to every Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, and atheist household in my world. Everyone we affiliate with loves my friends and family members. Many individuals have respect for my family and I in Pakistan, in the West and East end of Massachusetts, other states and countries. My mind is not something physical or tangible; however if you met me, you would probably remember me. I am just a pleasant person. You would remember me more likely because I am short and do not look like everyone else.

I find it funny how others think my kindness is a weakness. I have no problem being mean to anyone. I am not someone you would want to betray, however if that is how you want to live, then be my guest. I would not even try to sabotage you. I just would forget about you. I do not have time for people who seek to ruin other people’s lives. That’s just weird. What’s wrong with people? I would never think about you again.

I have no problem seeing others make progress and become more successful than I am. I am proud of every successful friend and family member in my life. It is incredibly hard to make me feel mentally, physically, or emotionally inferior because I no longer compare myself to anyone. I am not threatened by someone else’s success because he or she probably worked hard for it and deserves to bfe proud of his or herself. I am proud of everyone in my world.

Anyways, Pakistan is one of the strictest Islamic countries in the world. Throughout childhood and early-adulthood, my parents were unbelievably productive people. They spent their days studying Islam, meeting with private tutors, and involved themselves in extracurricular activities almost every night. They even attended summer school that is the reason why I went to summer school every year in my childhood. They never drank alcohol or smoked, snorted, or injected drugs into their bodies. That may be why my siblings and I are smart people. Or it might not be. Substances affect every human being differently, so it is hard to say.

I lived most of my life feeling unworthy, unintelligent, and unsatisfied because my siblings, parents, and even some friends are unintentionally hard on me. Some say things things like, “you’re a spoiled brat, why do you dress like this, and you think you’re so smart. You should gain weight; boys don’t like skinny girls, and stop wasting money on buying groceries.” I cannot eat, sleep, or live. Everything I do is wrong. I do not even try.

Based on all the insults I have received, I am proud to say I have never done anything wrong. I have no desire to ruin anyone’s life. I will never understand anyone that does. I just want my own freedom. If you had a good understanding of how a felon’s mind operations, then you would realize it just takes one person to ruin your day. One person, then you decide to bomb a city, join a gang, shoot up heroin, and rape someone.Everyone is such a great judge, everyone should go to law school, and join the Supreme Court.

Honestly, I could legally change my name to “Unicorn Sparkles,” tomorrow and no one could do anything about it. Why does it matter to anyone? Why does it matter if I name my baby “Blanket?” Is it your baby? Is it your name? Honestly, one should worry about one’s own family. That is not meant to sound rude. Although, I find that name idiotic and unprofessional, who am I to judge? Am I God? Last, I checked I was not. Snoop Dogg decided to change his name to “Snoop Lion,” for a short period. I am still not sure what he was smoking. Hah. I thought God was the only one who can judge, yet here we are living on a planet full of judgement?

Now, now, do not jump to any conclusions that I have never judged anyone. I absolutely have been judgmental in my past, however I have learned from it, and try not to do so now. When I was younger my mother heard me gossip on the phone once and told me to never to it again. I have straightened out ever since. Sometimes, I have a poor lapse of judgment. There are people I have known my entire life that continue to surprise me. People I have supported through every single life decision, who laugh in my face when I tell them I am excited about a fun idea. Someone is too busy to text or call me back. No one can “always” be there for you.

At the end of the day, the only person you can rely on to help you is yourself. It is okay, I understand life is busy for everyone; I do not need to turn to anyone. You should not feel offended when I decide to stop telling you things about myself. Regardless, you will feel that way, you should realize it is not my fault. You are responsible for your own accidents or misfortunes. I am not mad at anyone about anything. I have a clear conscious. I cannot be the world’s moral compass. It is not physically possible.  And then there are people I speak to for an hour or two on a flight and it feels like I have known them for years. I have had remarkable conversations with many random strangers on flights, boats, and cab rides.


As I digress, the only judges I want to meet are the ones that sit in the courtrooms. Ruth Bader Ginsberg is my all-time favorite Supreme Court judge. I need to find a cute “Notorious RBG” or “I dissent” t-shirts. I am picky though, I still haven’t found one I love yet. Etsy is the perfect place to find them. Sometimes, I watch scholarly interviews or read about her life. She is such an admirable character and I need to meet her! RBG,  you are always welcome in Boston.

Honestly, I respect the entire Supreme Court. What an honor it would be to be a fly on the wall in their presence. Historically, why are most of the United States Supreme Court judges from the Ivy Leagues? I have met some entitled, privileged, and narrow-minded Ivy League graduates. Not all of them. However, I can think of a few off the top of my head. I would never disrespect the Ivy League institutions. I may apply to some of them for fun. I would never say that about one of the elected Supreme Court judges either. Yet, how can one advocate for the rights of others, if he or she does not understand how the other half-lives? I think a UCLA, UMichigan, or a Cornell law graduate could get the job done too. What do you think?

The acts of reading, writing, and listening help calm my nerves and relieve stress. It is a natural sense of mediation for me. One of my favorite past times is doing absolutely nothing with my friends, family, or by myself. Solitude is independence and when I am alone no one can judge me. I just do not understand people when they speak. For instance, let’s say someone was sexually attracted to inanimate objects, then why does it matter? Really though, why do people care? I may or may not find that strange, however it is not my life.

I do not have an all-encompassing understanding of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community. Islam does not promote or support this idea. There is a deep and sincere hatred for these people in Pakistan. However, every person in this world understands how difficult it is to wake up, live, and go on with your day. I am not here to spread a movement; I am here to take a stand in the courtroom, the playground, and a heated debate. If you cannot handle the truth, then you can stop reading this at anytime.

If I am an attorney, then I cannot refuse someone based on his or her sexual orientation, age, or gender. That would be considered discrimination. If one dislikes how someone else lives because it is “wrong,” then is one judging someone else? One does not even realize when one is coming to insensible conclusions. Luke 6:37 states, “Do not judge and you will not be judged.” No one is telling one to join this community. Why can’t people just leave others alone? Why not? In the world we live in everyone is supposed to hate oneself. Everything is wrong.

Under what grounds is it wrong? The meaning of that term is that it is not correct or true. The Quran, Bible and Torah can be interpreted differently, it just depends who is reading you the verses. Some have a loose or strict interpretation of the constitution. The Quran and Bible may say that marriage is between a man and a woman, yet does it say, “must?” That term would express necessity. Is it necessary? I am just asking a question. There is no need to get angry while reading this. Kindly take a step back and relax. I am just picking one’s brain. We do not need to agree. It appears that it is open to interpretation. I am not going to marry a woman. I am highly attracted to men. I find it interesting how people choose what is right and wrong. It is wrong for two people of the same gender to be in love, however it’s okay to wear a tank top and shorts?


All holy religious books state that one should dress in a modest manner. Well, what is modesty? One could define it in one million ways. What I find modest is not modest in the eyes of a woman who wears an abaya or burqa. The women in my family who dress in this way want to express themselves in this manner. No one is forcing my female family members to dress in this way. It is a personal preference. I need to buy myself a few. I love wearing them, I feel good about myself even when I am not showing any skin. I have seen such eye-catching ones in Islamic Society of Boston Cultural Center. Did you know, it is the largest mosque in New England? It’s peaceful place to visit, a sense of light in a cloud of darkness or place to walk into to feel connected in a world full of rejection.

If you think my logical reasoning is incorrect, then you are entitled to your opinion, as am I. You should feel blessed to live in a country where your voice matters. All opinions matter, however they are not all equal and sound. I do not need another explanation. I cannot change anyone’s mind about anything. I would not waste my time explaining myself to someone who is narrow-minded. I am not here to spread the ideas of the LGBT community; they already have that covered for themselves.

As an aspiring attorney, you have to remember you will not be able to pick your clients. There will be times when you have to defend someone or something you do not support. You have to put your pride aside and do your job. If my client decided to kill his or her spouse, then I would still defend you. It is similar to the concept of being in the armed forces, you do what you are asked regardless of if you want to or not.  If I had to defend a man who blew up a building, then I would because that is my job. It is not because I have a desire to help a criminal. In our legal system, you are innocent until you are proven guilty. I probably would have my client confess, tell the truth, and take a plea bargain. That is what I will have to do one day. Say “Inshallah.”

Often times, many individuals forget one is typically getting a different perspective. Whether one is directly speaking to another person, reading an article, or watching the news. Every source whether it is primary or secondary is still a perspective. Unless I hear something directly from the source of my problems, I do not listen to what anyone else has to say. That is how every human should think.

Is Hillary Clinton at fault for what happened in Benghazi? Did Trump team up with a powerful country in Eastern Europe for this election? Did Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi get a divorce? I have no idea. I was not present in any of those case scenarios. Were you present? Did you see this happen with your own eyes? I sincerely have no idea if any of those things are entirely true. Some of it may be true and some may not be. I do not know everything and I would never say I do. Everyone can debate it for years to come. It’s none of my business.



In current time, many do not see the similarities between the world’s three largest religions. I laugh when people say, “Muslims are programmed to kill.” Here I am your average Muslim girl, how are you still alive if I was created to kill people? Pew Research shows that the current United States population of Muslims is 3.3 million people, which is about 1% of the entire country’s population. How ironic is it knowing we are always afraid of the 1%?

There is a 1 in 5,000 chance you will hit a hole-in-one, a 1 in 700,000 chance you will be struck by lightning, and a 1 in 8,000 chance you will be injured by a musical instrumental. The likeliness that all Muslims are terrorists is as likely as me winning the lottery tomorrow. People say, “Sarish you are not like other Muslims though, you are not one of the crazy ones.” Clearly, I am not one of the mentally deranged ones. I am not the only Muslim who is not a religious fanatic. I want to help connect the dots. So here goes nothing.

First of all, Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are all monotheistic religions meaning we believe in One God. Christians believe in the “Trinity,” One God exists in the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19), while Muslims do not believe in a Trinity, we believe in Allah we have a strict monotheistic view of religion (Quran 112:1), and Jewish people believe in “Yahweh,” or “Jehovah,” (Deuteronomy 6:4). The Koran or Quran was revealed to the Prophet Mohammad (swt) over a twenty year period.

Our holy book was the final revelation given by Allah to mankind. Unlike Christianity, Muslims never created a revision of said book. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Christians reading the Old or New Testament. I do not have the right to tell anyone what he or she should believe. Personally, I do not know of a single Muslim I associate with that says we should bring Sharia Law here.

If the law of the land is Islamic Law and someone does not abide by those rules, then he or she will face the consequences. Similarly to what happens in the United States with the common law or in Europe with the civil legal system. I am not sure why we are judging how others govern women in other countries. I have seen some mentally scarring things done to women in this country, so are all Americans bad people? I do not think so. I am an American. I do not think I am that bad of a person.

In the eyes of Muslims, our religious book is already perfect; meaning it already has the required or desirable elements and is as good as it possibly can be. We do not have the right to change it. I have no problem with that idea. In current time, this issue is not Muslims, the greater problem is some Muslims interpretation of my religion. My religion is undergoing its crusade period right now. I hate it as much, if not more than you do. Jesus is a notable person in my religion too. Isa, Jesus was a prophet sent by Allah and born of the Virgin Mary, however he is not seen as “divine,” (Quran 5:17). In Christianity and Judaism he was crucified, however in Islam he was not, rather he was raised to Heaven by Allah (Quran 4:158).

The third person of the Trinity, truly divine: “…With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified,” this person is identical to the Angel Gabriel, who appeared to the Prophet Mohammad (swt) giving him the Quranic text. In Judaism there is no distinct person as a Holy Spirit, yet the divine power was given to the Prophets. I could list more similarities for you, but I think you catch my drift. In my eyes, Islam is more inclusive than others. I was raised as a Muslim, and so I am biased in my opinion. We respect and acknowledge important figures in other religions too. I am not saying other adherents of those religions do not. I do not know everything about Christianity and Judaism to continue this discussion, so we will end it here.



After I lost federal property, I contemplated what I was doing with my life for a second; however I could not go through with it. If I did that to myself, then my family members lives would be even harder than it already is. I just had to get over it. I am over it forever and always. I started listening to podcasts, Ted Talks, and reading everything. One day after working on a drug trafficking case, I started reading up on cocaine and what it does to your brain. I was just curious, I had no desire to try it. It is a rich man’s drug and spending $70 for a gram does not appeal to me. I have nothing against anyone who does cocaine. It is a party drug, I know many people who do it. I just do not care for it.

Inside the brain, “nose candy, blow, or coke,” interferes with the activity of the dopamine neurotransmitter. This drug speeds up the electrical impulses in the neuron or reduces it. The behavior of dopamine chemicals depend on the receptors they encounter, so if those chemicals attach to the “pleasurable” ones in the reward pathway of your brain, you get high. You feel amazing and invincible, right? I don’t know whether or not that is true. I do not do drugs.

Well, I wanted to see if I could reach that reward system without doing the drugs. I think, I did it. You would just have to learn to control your emotions, behaviors, and gain more confidence in yourself. That was the secret to my revelation. N and M, M, and B her best friends from pharmacy school are the only drugs I need in my life. I have learned a great deal from them about what drugs do to your brain. I love when my best friends meet people who love and support them when I am not around. I wish they never left Massachusetts.

I wish everyone in the entire world could feel this way. I have told all my friends and family that I had a revelation. I absolutely did! Now, it is the greatest feeling in the world waking up every single day. Incredible people such as, Jesus, Abraham, and Prophet Mohammad (swt) had them too. I am not saying that, I am some lost prophet, however I can relate to them.  If that makes any sense? I feel like Beyoncé or Migos when they sing about being in the “Illuminati.” Brady when he told Kraft he would be the best decision he ever made. I heard that, Einstein and J.K. Rowling spent days of their lives daydreaming before they created their masterpieces. I daydream everyday now too. Don’t read into those statements, I am just referencing how I feel good about myself for once. You can too. Everyone can have an epiphany; you would just need to do some serious self-evaluation.

Most people are too lazy to fill out a survey, forget forgiving yourself for your previous mistakes. I do not want to wait until the day I die to ask for forgiveness.  Slowly, yet surely I have rekindled old friendships, and talk to almost everyone from my past. I just like to know the people I have once cared about are still doing well. If I could give anyone advice, I would tell you to forgive yourself, but never forget what you learned from that experience. I am aware that every parent has high standards for their children; you have just never met mine. I am not ambitious because it is something I want; it is whom I need to be in order to survive.  Humans lives are a game of survival of the fittest.


My parents did not move here for my siblings and I to be average. Most immigrants that moved here feel the same way. When anyone migrates anywhere, it is for a better job, life, or opportunity. Well, that is exactly what I want to do for my family. My entire family and I are first-generation immigrants to this country.  I know, it is hard to remember the struggle if you have migrated here decades ago, so I want to help you understand again. Regardless of whether or not you have wealth, when you move here you start from the bottom of the barrel.

In current time, many international laws make it difficult for anyone to transfer money. You come here with a few suitcases, hopes, and aspirations to achieve the American Dream. I live my life in amazement knowing they never complain about how hard their lives are. They never pity themselves; they do not have feelings of sorrow and compassion caused by their misfortunes. I find it remarkable how they still find happiness even though their lives have been incredibly difficult.

In Pakistan, my mother was a scholar, top of her class, and an accounting professor.  To some degree, my dad has always been a businessperson, investment banker, and real estate mongrel. After the Indo-Pakistani War of 1965, the British left their influence behind in these territories. My parents attended a British magnet school and eagerly walked to school in their uniforms every day. It may only be a third-world country; however, it is the third largest English-speaking country in the entire world. The United States comes in with the gold medal, while India takes the silver. It may only be bronze today, however I want to see them bring home the gold again.

I want Pakistan to develop again. I am happy China is a superpower that supports them. Baluchistan has been working on signing a deal with China to develop special economic territory in the seaport of Gwadar. It is economically beneficial in terms of job security, commerce, and bringing trade into those countries. There is a reason why the Silicon Valley continues to fill out H1B1 Visas for immigrants. Many Indian and Chinese people are willing to start at the bottom of the trenches to succeed in this ongoing battle we call life.

As a race, human beings have become under active. Advanced technology provides self-serving machines to take your place in the bank, on the highway, and at the register. Sadly, most people do not want to be an active member in society. Some just do not know how. You should find passion in something that brings you joy. I truly and deeply am emphatic for anyone who feels the need to snort heroin and do hardcore drugs. I strongly dislike the dealer who sold you those drugs even more. One is feeding one’s habit, dependency, and addiction. One has every right to cope with one’s struggles in any manner you wish.  I understand life is hard; it is a struggle for every living organism.

You are the only person who can convince yourself to rise above it. I am incredibly proud of every addict who cleans up their act. It is a remarkable accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. The son you lost in a war, your best friend from high school, or the white-collar criminal, he or she did not “need,” to resort to drugs. When the police, governmental officials, or “Big Brother” finds you, I still have empathy for you. It did not have to be this way. It was an active choice or decision. I want you to rehabilitate and move forward. Every human deserves to progress further in the world.

I want to state that I do not trust many politicians, lawmakers, or superpowers. I do not easily trust anyone. There are about a handful of people who I trust. I am not Indian nor have I ever been. My parents were born in the 1950’s and Pakistan gained independence in 1947. You should never assume you know someone’s identity. I could be a woman today and tomorrow decide that I am a man. Kindly do not assume my gender.

Why does my choice in gender matter? Honestly, why does my life matter to anyone? Regardless of age, if one is a child, teenager, or adult one should try not to pass judgement on anyone. One should be willing to look beyond oneself, and come to the realization that, there is more to a person than their skin color, sexuality, and ableism. I could be any ethnicity. I am racially ambiguous.

There are hundreds of shades of people in every single culture, religion, and ethnicity. One should talk to someone who does not look like one or is not from one’s socioeconomic class. There is not a single person in this world who is a complete saint. We are all sinners; we just sin differently than one another. The one thing I like about myself is that I do not pretend to be someone I am not. I am not a religious prophet; I am but a mere mortal.

All of my family and friends know how I dress, talk, and walk. I sincerely do not care what most people think of me. Please do not compare yourself to me; you should never compare yourself to anyone. Ever. You lose yourself in comparison to anyone. You should be proud of who you are. You’re probably an amazing person. Unconditionally, you should learn to love yourself. The only person I aspire to be is a better person than I was yesterday. That is how every person should feel. If you do not feel the same way, then there is nothing wrong with that perspective.

As I age, I learn to appreciate my parents more each day. Millennials are entitled as the “The Invincibles” however, we are not and we know it. My parents are the two unstoppable Baby Boomers, and I have learned more from them than anyone else. They took several classes each semester, helped cook and clean, and engaged in extracurricular activities. They never did drugs or alcohol. I am Michael Scott when I say; do you think you are cool? Do you? If you do, then I am happy for you. I mean it in all sincerity. If drinking and smoking is what makes you happy, then you do you. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself.

Why does it bother others if I do not want to do those things? Maybe, I just do not like you, how you live, or have a desire to snort cocaine with you. Personally, I am already a social person and I do not “need” liquid courage to talk to anyone. If you need something to give you a boost of confidence, then you should do it.

I have many friends that feel that way and I would never tell one how one should live life. Substances stimulate every single person in a different manner. I do not want my body to grow attached to a temporary feeling of relief. It is a personal decision. It is your body; you can do whatever you want with it. I can too. I do not feel the “need,” to escape my reality, I already love my life, and it feels great. Life is simple, you just need people who love and support you every step of the way. Everything else is secondary.


The truth is, many substances damage your brain, you age faster when you drink, and do drugs in your prime. There is nothing wrong with it.  In some cases, there are health benefits to drinking. It can lower your risk of heart attack and reduce your risk of stroke. Cheers! Personally, I just want to look young forever. I’ve been working on my beach body too. I want to be healthy. It is not for any particular reason or person. It’s for myself. I would rather not spend money on Botox. Who knows though, maybe, I will let the world win and completely change things about myself. Similarly to Lil’ Kim, Michael Jackson, and some Victoria’s Secret supermodels. I only want hair on my head, eyebrows, and in my nose. It is a personal decision. Plastic surgery is an incredibly personal decision. Why would it bother anyone if I wanted to get liposuction or botox done? Honestly, that’s just not my cup of tea.

Many members of the media love to bring everyone down, make everyone feel worthless, and like a bad person. Everyone has a past, familial troubles, and makes mistakes. I want everyone to throw those thoughts out the window like Donald Trump, Kanye West, and any other celebrity in the world. The world wants you to feel disposable, like plastic bottle, or bag floating in the wind.

Everyone has value whether you see it or not. Let us say the world map is a puzzle and you almost finished it, however you lost a piece of it. You lost an entire country. Would it bother you? I would go mad not knowing where it went or why I lost it. I would search high and low for it. That is what wars do to people every day in the Middle East and South Asia. Everyday. I know people care and do not know how to help. All you have to do is talk to someone who does not look like you and learn about his or her life. Learn about their culture, language, religion, and customs.

As a race, human beings are naturally social beings that love to communicate with each other. We are just naturally selective. Do not waste your time on anyone who does not want to see you succeed and shine bright like the diamond you are. Everyone wants attention, affection, and likability; however, it is not easily achievable for everyone. You just need practice.

Even the shyest person in the room loves attention because one rarely receives it. I have friends from every range of the spectrum. We all like learning something new. There is nothing wrong with having high standards, preferences, and big dreams. You should not have to lower your standards for anyone; always hold high standards for yourself. Always.

My philosophy is that your life experiences shape your perception of the world. If you have never faced discrimination you would not truly understand how that feels. Everyone has or has not faced discrimination; however, I know my “light-skinned,” friends experience it far less than I do. I experience it less than my male friends of colored skin do.

I have the greatest respect for police officers; you put your life on the line every day. However, I slowly lose respect for the ones that stereotype African-Americans and Hispanics. Drug addiction does not have a skin color. Stereotypes exist because there is a little truth behind each one, otherwise it would not exist. It is not the whole truth though. Broad generalizations create unnecessary stigma. It fuels racism, ableism, sexism, and any other -ism.

For instance, what if I said, “I am going to go shoot an “n-word,” today because one sells drugs to provide for one’s family. That statement is a prime example of judgment. No moral Christian, Jew, Muslim, or Buddhist should speak in such a manner. However, we still do those things. One is judging someone for a lifestyle choice one “feels,” the need to do to survive. I have met many brilliant people who dabble in all kinds of substances. If you never did those things, then would you be more intellectual? I am not sure. Steve Jobs, Marty Walsh, and a certain Aetna employee may have tried those things. Are they bad people? I do not think so. Personally, I value my brain too much, and I do not want to lose my memories.


I want to remember most days of my life. I love Ted Talks, I have learned a great deal from other speakers. I find more inspiration in the world we live in than I do from myself. I know we are walking in the right direction. If you want to be an expert in any field of work, then you can achieve it by sending one hour each day learning more about it. Law is easy to learn about because there is a new lawsuit in the world almost every day.

One day, I was listening to a speaker discuss the concept of age. I have only been alive for 9211 days, however I probably only remember about 2000 of them. I find that fascinating. I like to think I have a good memory, however many of my memories do not make the bank. Where did those savings and checking account deposits go? Therefore, I have been working on it, and posting on social media, helps build my memories. I write in my personal journals, sometimes I track myself on MyFitnessPal, or talk to someone new. I write on paper, napkins, everything. It is kind of fun.

Metacognition is the one common factor in almost every single success story. I do not “need,” a JD/MBA, yet I want both of those things. I do not “need,” higher education to make anything of myself. I do not need both of those degrees. A fancy degree does not mean you are smart. I may want to be a Chief Legal Officer on the board of directors for a corporate giant one day though. Most of them have both. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and Steve Jobs dropped out of the Ivy Leagues. These figures are some of the inspirational Caucasian males I deeply respect. Honestly, metacognition is something everyone should look up.

I am not a neurosurgeon; however, I do have a pretty good understand of the human mind. I study my mind often because I fear the thought of inheriting schizophrenia. I have visited a neurologist though, so I think I am in the clear for now. It’s not hereditary in my family. It is the concept of understanding your own thoughts and processes. Everyone should learn to control their own thoughts and not let them control you. One may not do what one wants because one is afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings. I do almost everything I want and most people do not feel hurt anymore. I always have the intention to attend a social gathering, networking, or familial event. Sometimes, I bail on everyone and everything though. I have learned not to lie; I am terrible at white lies. I feel guilty doing it, so I try not to anymore. I love spending time alone.

I am genuine and will always tell you the truth now. The government has made me a more honest person. I will apologize and say I cannot make it. I never intentionally flake on anyone; I will usually text you or call you to let you know that I cannot come. If you cannot make it to one of my parties, then just be straightforward with me. I am not crying in a corner about it. I am giving your plate, seat, or meal to another friend. I strongly dislike flaky people and would rather you be honest with me. I do not like people wasting my food or time. Time is precious for everyone. Kindly be considerate.

My working memory is my favorite part about myself. I could tell you about something that happened to me 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago. I do not hold grudges. I do not have any persistent feelings of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury. Anyone who has ever truly hurt me knows that I am far beyond those feelings of sadness. If I bring up anything from the past, then it is because someone asked me to do it. I do not need to make you feel bad about yourself, you probably already feel that way. You should not though. Those that pity themselves cannot easily help themselves. People wait years for apologies they will never receive. It is an essential part of the lawyering process. I am not waiting for an apology from anyone. I am a fast-paced person, you could see me today, and I will be on the other side of the state tomorrow.

People with high working memory capacities tend to be the following; be good storytellers, do well on standardized tests, and are able to reason at high levels. Everyone I affiliate with has at least one of these qualities. It is the one thing I value most in any person. It is the reason you function, your ability to walk, talk, eat, and sleep.  There were times in your life when you could not do any of those things. Now, most people can do those things. You are literate and are able to write the words that I am writing, typing, and saying. “Hi, how are you?” I bet it feels like you are talking to me right now. You should be incredibly proud of yourself. Knowledge is power. About 1 billion people on this planet that is about 26% of the world’s adult population are non-literate adults.

I do not know about you, but if I lost my mind, I would miss it. Mental instabilities such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorder, or any personality disorder share a root cause of fear. You sense a distorted version of reality. Personality disorders are a mixture of genetic factors and life experiences. Your mind plays tricks on you and brings you back to a time of fear from childhood, the battlefield, or a traumatic event in your life.

You have a skewed perception of the world. Your mind is like a Wikipedia page, you can see, and think one thing. However, you can change your mind when you look back on the past. You realize you may or may not have been wrong. Everyone reacts to shock differently, crime scene studies show that, some vomit, panic, and others just stand still. You never know what might happen next, so you should always try to pay attention to your surroundings. Be alert. Pay attention to people’s behaviors. Those with the largest egos are the most conceited, selfish, and bragging beings of the bunch. Oftentimes, they become white-collar criminals who want to see the digits in their bank accounts flourish. I will see you on the other side of the courtroom or maybe I will be on your side. Who knows? I only say that because I don’t know what kind of lawyer I will be yet.

Your mind can be a scary place if you do not learn to control your thoughts. For instance, this summer due to a couple unfortunate events, I had a couple nightmares. It was scary.  It was due to a lack of sleep, traveling, and high levels of stress. Plus, I did just make my life story public information. Image putting your entire life on the Internet for every human being to judge it? You would be stressed out too. In Washington D.C., I woke up next to my sister in a panic because I have been traveling a bit this summer. When you wake up in different settings, places, and with groups of friends, it is hard for your body to adjust.


Earlier this summer, someone was watching me when I came home and it is a bit frightening. Someone stole a package off of my porch, and I had to go pick it up at the police station. When I retrieved it the package was torn apart. I even have a letter from the Boston Police Department to prove it.  Someone tried to steal my credit card twice too. I got random alerts from my bank and two new cards sent to me. It was real, I promise. The world we live in is scary place and I just want to be safe. Luckily, I was sent a letter from a probation officer saying they caught the guy. Honestly, I’m not sure whether or not they found the right person. I am just glad I feel safe again. Ever since these summers scary events, I have become even more cautious and alert. I always watch my back, front, and sides. I religiously check my finances. The TransUnion is one of my new best friends.


In regards to safety and security,  my blog is one of the safest places on the Internet right now. Thanks goodness, I wanted to create one place that was not corrupt with fake news. During the duration of my federal job, I learned a great deal about encryption, it is the process of converting information or data into a code, especially to prevent unauthorized access. So, I encrypted my digital diary to protect my personal information. Fingers crossed, arms crossed, and legs crossed, Holy Cross, hamsa, “Bismillah-Ar-Rahman-Ar-Rahim, Inshallah, and Alhamdulillah.” I could use all the blessings in the world. Bad things happen to good people every day. I wouldn’t wish for anything bad to happen to anyone on this planet. I just want my sad, sick, and hard working family to have a better life.


Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved.